cheek n' slide

When Tyler's parents were here,

we rode in their vehicle most of the time.

It's a maroon SUV thing.

Kind of like a Tahoe,

but not a Tahoe?

I'm not even sure if SUV would be the correct category.

BUT all you need to remember is 

MAROON and TAHOE-LIKE.

We went to the movies one evening and when the movie was over,

I was walking about 100 steps in front of everyone.

I was hungry...

I get weird and antisocial when I'm hungry.

I quickly walked to the MAROON/TAHOE-LIKE vehicle,

opened the backseat passenger door,

grabbed onto the little grabby thing on the ceiling,

pulled myself up,

slid my left cheek onto the seat

(no, not my left face cheek),

and in the middle of pulling my right leg into the vehicle 

and scooting my right cheek onto the seat...

I looked around.

I beat everyone to the car.

EXCEPT IT WASN'T OUR CAR.

I was in a stranger's car.

Hanging out.

There were a couple of presents in the floor board...

I should have went ahead and opened them

since I WAS IN THEIR CAR.

I immediately flung myself onto the pavement,

slammed the door,

and started running toward my husband and inlaws...

who were WATCHING me and LAUGHING the whole time.

That incident ranks in my top 10 most embarrassing moments.

Yeah,

I've gone up to cars that I thought were mine,

but I never actually got in.

I had never grazed my cheeks on a random stranger's car seat before.

I sure hope the owner of that car doesn't commit murder or something...

because I was definitely in there long enough for some of my skin cells and hair to flake off.

Oh, and one more thing.

WHO LEAVES THEIR DOORS OPEN IN AN EXTREMELY POPULATED CITY?

...

 if you leave your doors open,

LOCK THEM....

or you might have a weird, antisocial, unobservant hungry woman cheek n' slide you.

Happy Tuesday!

And for all of you who have finals this week....

I feel your pain. 

Alaska-in-the-box

I'm pretty sure I've already told y'all how bad I am at geography.

Before the hubs and I got married,
I didn't try to hide my geographic disability.
I told him.
"If someone held a gun to my head and said they would spare me,
 as long as I could label a map of the US correctly.....
I would die. Literally. They would end up shooting me. 
And if they asked me to label all of the continents and countries...
I would tell them to go ahead and kill me."
He thought I was being silly and laughed it off.
It's taken him almost 4 years....
but I think he finally realized that I wasn't being silly.

I almost talked myself out of telling you what I'm about to tell you.....
but this is me.
uncut and uncensored.
You're welcome.

Hubs and I were watching "Alaskan Troopers."
I think it's on the Discovery channel.
Obviously, it's about Alaskan Troopers.
As I watched it,
my brain was in overdrive.
Here is a small excerpt of what I was thinking:
Hmm...Alaska is dark for 6 months....that's insane....and it looks so cold there...the Troopers have to use snow mobiles.....and their lips are so chapped....wait...where exactly is Alaska? 
So I decided to ask my husband- 
me: Tyler. Where is Alaska?
hubs: Really?
me: well yeah. I mean...I know it's out in the ocean somewhere..I guess it's close to Antarctica.
hubs: Autumn. Are you serious?
me:Well where is it?
hubs: Stop it. You know it's attached to Canada.
me: What?! It is not! Alaska is dark for 6 months...how can it be attached to Canada?...Canada isn't dark for 6 months.
hubs: ..................
me: Fine. If it is attached to Canada, why don't you pull up a map on your phone and show me.
And that's exactly what he did.
He pulled up a map and showed me.
My mind was blown.
How could I be 23 years old and not know that???
And to think,
I always wondered how cars with an Alaska license plate got here.
Well, I knew how they got here...
they came over on a ship...
duh.
But I wondered why they would spend so much money to do that.
Why not just save money and rent a car when they got here?
BECAUSE THEY DROVE, AUTUMN.
THEY DROVE HERE.
....
I've never seen my husband laugh as long as he did that night.
I laughed, too.
But come on, people.
HOW did I not know that Alaska was part of North America?
Well I'll tell you why.
After a solid 2 days of trying to solve the mystery,
it occurred to me...
in every US map I've ever labeled,
ALASKA WAS IN A BOX.
Go back up and look at that map.
See!?
Alaska and Hawaii are in boxes.
I'm surprised I didn't think Alaska was an island below Arizona and California.

I'm sure that sometime in my life I saw a map of North America that showed me where Alaska was...
but OBVIOUSLY I didn't make the connection.

It's a good thing I didn't want to be a pilot.

recap

HELLO!

My Thanksgiving festivities are officially over.

Here's a quick recap:

I made every bit of Thanksgiving dinner with my awesome grandma.

After 2 days of cooking and baking- this is what we had!

Pure deliciousness!

We ate left overs for 3 days.

None of my pants fit anymore.

Really.

and if I could go back....

I would stuff my face just as much!

I can buy new pants.

Of course the guys hunted until dinner.

Then the Saturday after Thanksgiving,

Tyler's parents came in (from Alabama) for a week long visit.

They went back home this past Saturday.

We had so much fun while they were here!

Be ready for a blog post every day this week.

Boy do I have some things to tell y'all!

hibernation lessons.

Well hey there, long lost friends!

I've been hibernating.

You know, 

catching up on sleep...

relaxing...

and eating everything in site.

It feels good!

I've learned some very important lessons during this hibernation.

Here are the top 2.

Lesson #1.

I went on a rant the other day about how crazy expensive razors were.

My Venus replacement heads are like 25 dollars.

So I decided to boycott Venus.

I would buy the 2 dollar disposable razors instead.

Great idea!

The next day, 

I used one to shave my pits.

After the first swipe,

I learned a very valuable lesson:

there is a reason they were 2 dollars...

they do not shave the hair,

they pluck each hair individually.

Lesson #2.

 Hubs had to preach last Sunday.

Saturday night,

he was super nervous.

So being a good wife,

I told him I was going to pray over him.

I leaned my forehead against his forehead,

and away I went.

I prayed for peace, 

I prayed for wisdom,

I prayed for courage,

and before I could pray anymore,

Tyler pulled his head away and started gagging.

I asked him what was wrong,

and his reply was

"Please stop breathing."

lesson:

Don't eat 10 pounds of ranch dip before praying over husband...

apparently your breath will smell like vomit.

My hibernation is over,

I have to get ready for the in-loves (in-laws)!

I hope y'all have a fabulous day!

Now Rejoice!

Hey!

Brit from These Happy Times is doing a series called Now Rejoice.

She asked me to take part-

and I shared my story on her blog today.

You should check it out!

Happy Tuesday!

this might surprise you...

I ONLY HAVE 1 TEST AND 1 FINAL 

 between me and the end of the semester!

THEN I JUST HAVE 1 SEMESTER LEFT

and I will finally be an RN.
hallelujah.

I'm hearing angels sing right now.

I had a huge test today,

and let me tell you.

It was beyond rough.

Studying for this test was horrible.

I couldn't focus.

At all.

Want to know why?

How about I just show you why...

 DO YOU SEE THAT!?

I'm pretty sure he is on steroids.

He was on our game camera 

(from one night last week)

BEHIND our house!

He is the reason I haven't been able to concentrate.

 You see,

hunting is in my blood...

and as soon as I saw this picture,

I about died.

I want him.

From the time I saw him 

 up until this very second,

I have been day dreaming

about eating him.

That's right.

I mean,

I want to get my picture taken with him and all...

but I mainly want to eat him.

I only like 3 meats.

turkey, chicken, and deer.

I want to put him in my freezer.

You didn't know I was quite this country, did ya?

:)

it's been one of those days.

I can't believe it's already November.

Only one more month until this semester is over.

It is kicking my booty.

I've already started a count down to May.

I will be studying my butt off from now until Thursday.

I have the zit the size of Mount Rushmore on the side of my nose...

and it's so stinkin' sore...

but I keep pushing on it anyway.

I had to get up at 4:45 this morning.

I spent all day in a psychiatric hospital...

a patient taught me some sweet dance moves.
He said he was Magic Mike's brother.

I almost stayed there.

I got a sneak peak of one of the pictures from our one year anniversary session-

and it made my day better.

Hope you survived your Monday!