What a show!

What I'm about to tell you is going to be pretty descriptive.

Since I am a nurse, and all, I am completely comfortable with talking about human anatomy.

Moving on.

I bought some new scrubs a few weeks ago, and I wore one of the tops today.

I thought I was hot stuff this morning.

I clocked in at 8:30AM.

As soon as I got there, the patients started to pour in.

One right after another.

I love when we are busy because my day zooms by.

The rush finally died down and I was able to go to the bathroom at 11:40AM.

While I was bent over, washing my hands, I looked up into the mirror and gasped.

I could see my belly button.

Meaning, the neck of my scrub top was hanging down so low that I could clearly see my navel.

Not only could I see my navel...I could also see my boobs.

Not only could I see my boobs...but they are so small that my bra was also gaping open...

and my nips were shining bright.

I realized, after saying "hey" to my nips, that I had been bending over like that to take blood pressures ALL MORNING.

And the tables are just the right height for the patient's eyes to be front and center.

Good grief.
That's professional.

For three hours I had been giving everyone a peep show.
For once, I'm glad I'm not busty...I have hopes that some of the patients thought they were just bug bites.

I told Tyler about my accidental naughty nurse behavior, and with a sideways smile, his reply was,
"Did you make any tips?"

I've always said that I will do everything I can to help people feel better....

but showing my nips is NOT what I meant by "everything."

If a plethora of elderly men come in tomorrow and request me to be their nurse,

I may die.

On another note, we stopped at Sweet Frog on the way home from Alabama, yesterday!

 It is a frozen yogurt shop.

They have a zillion different flavors and a trillion different toppings.

yum!

This is my "I really want to hurry up and take this picture so I can eat the yummy goodness" face.

This is his "I don't really like frozen yogurt but I'm glad you're excited" face.

Why yes, that is peanut butter frozen yogurt, Butterfinger pieces, strawberries, cookie dough pieces, and marshmallow cream:)

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

I watched Tyler play Super Mario Brothers, today.

He was terrible.

He just couldn't get by those "things with the shells" (the turtles).

He made it to level 5.

Bless his heart.

Watching him fall in the fire, run into turtles, and fall down holes repeatedly...

and watching his serious frustration/anger while he fussed at Mario...

made me laugh uncontrollably;

because I beat Super Mario Brothers when I was ten years old, 

and he is twenty-six.

It also made me fall in love with him, even more.

Love is a funny, crazy, amazing, and absolutely wonderful thing.

Play By Play

Play by play of my trip to Alabama.
 ---------------------------------
I am sitting in the airport, waiting for my flight.

My flight was supposed to take off at 7:26.
It's delayed.
Normally I would be bummed,
Right now, I am relieved.
Why?
Because we were running late.
And because I may have avoided a strip search.
I ran into the airport at 7, praying that it didn't leave early.
 When I heard that it was about an hour delayed, I decided to go through my purse.
THANK GOODNESS I DID.
Do you remember what I carry in my purse?
If not, go back to my Peep Please! post.
Look at the picture.
What item do you think would not be good to take on a plane?
I'll give you a hint.
It is pink...and it is used to spray people in the face.
Mace.
That probably wouldn't have gone over well with the security guard.

My luck, I would have been strip searched.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

 I’m on the plane now.   

You know how I was talking about being stripped searched?

When I went through security, there were about 6 secutity guys. 

 They all greeted me with kind smiles.   

I walked through the metal detector with no problem, and right when one of the guys was getting ready to say, “you’re good to go,”   I heard “DING, DING, DING!!” 

All 6 of the security guards smiles immediately turned into a MEAN faces.

 One of them said, “You have been randomly selected to be more thoroughly searched.” 

I wanted to kick him in the face….at that moment, I really wished I still had my mace.

I was panicking in my mind…but I tried to stay calm and collected.   

After all, I didn’t want them to know that I was panicking….

that would have made me look suspicious.  

All 6 security guys discussed what they were going to do.   

One of them said “mam, please step behind this curtain.” 

Another guy spoke up and said “no, let’s just do the hand check.” 

Hand check? 

  They ended up wiping my hands with some type of napkin thing and ran it through a machine to see if I had been touching bomb material.

 (I guess that’s what they were checking for)

Thank the Lord.  No touching of my body.

I’m sitting on the plane now.  We were getting ready to start down the runway when air traffic control called the pilot and told him we couldn’t take off for another 31 minutes. 

I want to see my hubs, dang it!!!

 ---------------------------------------------------------

It’s 9:02.  We’re finally in the air.!

Every time I fly, when I’m a gazillion feet in the air, I think about how unnatural it is for such a large object to be in the sky, and how crazy I am for being in the large object. 

 I know it’s all about the aerodynamics and stuff…but seriously. 

 Here are some other things I think/do when I’m in the sky:

 1. I am constantly on the watch of suspicious behavior…and I prepare myself to kill bad guys, if necessary

2. I listen to people snore…like the guy who is sawing logs, directly behind me, as we speak; 

3. I read the pamphlet  about how to use my seat as a flotation device, even though I am usually not traveling over any large bodies of water…but hey, if we crash and my side of the plane ends up in a pool/creek/river…I'll be ready.

 4. I inspect my barf bag and make sure there are no holes.. I’ve never had to use one…but I like to be prepared.

 5. I go into a mini panic attack when we hit turbulance….like we are RIGHT NOW..and while I’m panicking,(like I am RIGHT NOW) I wonder HOW ON EARTH CAN THE GUY BEHIND ME STILL BE SNORING?!

6. Oh, and I also go through old pictures on my computer, and laugh hysterically when I come across ones like these.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
I made it.
Hey there, Alabama:)

Oh, procrastination.

Friends.

I need to apologize.

I apologize for being the WORST blog friend on the face of the planet.

Seriously.

Forgive me!

So what's been my problem?

One word.

PROCRASTINATION.

I took 2 psychology classes (for my BSN) this semester.

They were online classes. 

Online classes are not for procrastinators.

In my mind, online classes mean that I don't have to go to class (I just have to go to the college to take the tests), I don't have homework, and I don't have to do anything.

In January, I got my syllabuses.

I looked at the class schedule, I saw all of the deadlines and I thought,

"I just have one test a month, that will be cake. I have all the time in the world!"

One test a month, huh?

Yep. And each test was on about 200-300 pages.

I talked myself into thinking that wasn't a lot.

I put off reading until the night before every test...and then I was reminded that I read slower than a snail runs.

I did that for every test. All four of them.

Long story short, I had my exams this week...and I hadn't studied at all...so I had to hardcore cram.

That's where I've been.

BUT I AM OFFICIALLY FINISHED WITH THOSE CLASSES!

Hallelujah.

I am finally able to catch up on all of your lives and spread some blog love!!!!!

On another note, I survived my second night alone, and I plan to live through the third one.

You all should say "Hi" to my mom.

I'm pretty sure she was the Anonymous user that left creepy comments on my post yesterday.

At least I hope that was her.

... 

Hey Mom! Thanks a lot for trying to scare me ;)

God is Bigger than the Boogie Man

My hubs is out of town.

His grandpa passed away on Sunday afternoon, so he drove home (to Alabama) yesterday morning.

I have exams this week, so I am flying to Alabama on Thursday night.

We will be apart for 4 days and 3 nights.

I've never had to stay in our house by myself, so last night was definitely....

scary.

Yes. I am a chicken!

For some reason when I turn on the TV, it seems to ALWAYS be on some kind of investigation.

You know.

This girl was minding her own business when all of a sudden...

she disappeared, or she was kidnapped, or she was murdered, or some strange man came up to her and licked her elbow.

HORRIBLE THINGS.

And of course I can't change the channel.

So I sit there.

 With my eyes as big as saucers.

And say things like, "oooo," "oh my gosh," "what if a guy hides under my car," "where's my mace," 

and so on.

 Last night, my mom asked me if I wanted to stay with them so I wouldn't have to be alone.

(note that when she gave me that invitation, it was during daylight hours)

Noooooo. Mom, I am a married woman....I can handle it.....I'm not scared...pshhh.

And then it got dark outside.

And this chick's brain immediately went to a scary place.

I decided to make rounds...with mace in hand and brave pup by my side.

 I made sure all of the windows and doors were locked.

I made sure all of the floors (underneath the beds), closets, and showers were uninhabited.

I made sure EVERY light in the house was on.

 Then I went to sleep bed.

One of the noises, I heard, was a scratching sound on the bedroom window...and I was certain that it was a scary, red eyed, drooling, stringy haired, killer.

The last time I looked at the clock, it was 2 in the morning...and I was praying and singing 

"God is Bigger than the Boogie Man"

One night down,

only two more to go.

 I imagine this is what my face looked like, all night...even when I was sleeping.

Happy Tuesday!

Confident and Beautiful

 Perfection:

"The condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects." 

 

Flaw:

"An imperfection, often concealed."

Imperfection:

"A fault, blemish, or undesirable feature."

 I have struggled with those words, for years.  I have a 15 inch scar on my back from 2 surgeries and 30 radiation treatments (the picture is just a portion of it).  Because of this scar, the word flaw has been part of my every day thoughts.

That's such a huge, ugly flaw- that was a thought that constantly went through my head..

and over time, that thought turned into- I am flawed.

What made me think I was flawed?

The word scar isn't in the definition of perfection.

And if what I have learned- for twenty-two years- is correct, perfection equals beauty, right?

Did my definition of perfection (beauty) come from what I saw on TV and on the cover of magazines?

Of course.  Why wouldn't that be my definition?

They didn't have to say "HEY THIS IS WHAT PERFECTION IS," it was just understood.

Perfect hair, perfect size, perfect boobs, perfect legs, perfect arms, perfect skin, not one blemish on your face...etc, etc.

So, if a characteristic doesn't fit into those categories, then it's a flaw, right?

Wrong.

Here's the thing,

NO ONE IS PERFECT.

Oh wait, what about those people on TV and on the cover of those magazines?

They aren't perfect either.

They are Photoshopped.  We know that.  They've told us.

  Everyone has flaws.

So why do we I still strive to be something unrealistic?

Who said that flaws weren't beautiful?

Well I'm saying they ARE beautiful.

"Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical."
~ Sophia Loren

"In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful."
~ Alice Walker

"Confidence is the secret to all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without confidence."

~Author Unknown

I've been terrified to wear a bikini for 7 years.  

As of today, I'm choosing to be confident.  I'm choosing to be flawed beautiful.

I ordered a bikini.

Let's be confident and flawed beautiful!

Who's with me?

Every night, he snuggles his way in between us and sleeps like this.  I think he's comfortable.

STATIC FACE!  He likes to rub his face on the carpet, and when he's done, he looks at me like this.

I hope everyone has a perfect weekend! 

We've been having beautiful 70 degree weather;

BUT I've heard some ugly rumors.

Supposedly we are supposed to get 27 inches of snow on Sunday. 

What in the world!

I'll let you know if the predictions are correct.