Jacob

I'm being emotional

This post is about my brother.

He just finished up his Junior year of high school.

That absolutely blows my mind.
My baby brother is going to be a Senior.
Crazy.

I wanted a baby brother as far back as I can remember.

When I was 5 years old, I shut my parents in a closet and said,

"I want a brother. Don't come out until I have one."

They must have listened to me,

because less than 1 year later, my wish came true.

I had my brother.

I will never be able to express how thankful I am for him.

There are 5 years and 10 months between us...

Since I am the older sibling,

I should be his protector, right?

Wrong.

He has been my protector since he was 6 years old.

That's when I started getting sick.

He has been beside me through everything.

Right beside me.

Holding my hand, feeding me ice chips, crying with me, praying with me...

He never left my side.

Sometimes I feel guilty,
because I'm afraid my sickness took away his childhood.

My first surgery, in 2005, was the day before his 10th birthday.

He spent his birthday in the hospital with me.

He always felt like he had to be so strong.

When I found out the cancer was back, in 2009, I wanted my little brother.

We cried for hours.

I don't know what I would have done without him.

I don't think I would have been nearly as strong.

I don't think I would have fought as hard.

God knew I needed my brother.

I don't know if any of that made any sense.

It makes sense to me.

And I know it would make sense to him.

Anyway.

My brother.

Is awesome.

I love him.