Time Away.

Good morning beautiful friends!

I have missed you all so much.

Because I know I can be honest with you,

I'm going to tell you what's been going on.

Almost 2 years ago,

I was told that I wouldn't be able to have babies.

They said the radiation had caused me to go into the early stages of menopause.

When they told me, 

I didn't know what to think.

I cried,

but I didn't know how to feel.

I tried to put it in the back of my mind and forget about it.

 I was 20 at the time.

I couldn't picture my life with a baby at that point, anyway.

I was just starting nursing school and I was planning my wedding.

Even though the thought was there, 

it didn't affect me.

It didn't seem real.

But this past week,

I struggled.

I struggled more than I ever have.

The thought turned into a fear,

and the fear felt real.

When I wasn't at work,

I was in bed.

Because when I was asleep,

I couldn't feel.

I wasn't feeling that way because I was trying to have a baby and couldn't.

I was  fearful of what would happen when we did decide to try.

Last night,

as I was crying,

and pouring my heart out to my hubs,

he said,

People told you that you had an incurable cancer.

But God healed you.

People told you that you would never have a baby.

But if God wants us to have a baby,

we will have a baby.  We have to have faith.

So now,

that is what I will hold on to.

Worrying and being fearful doesn't do anything;

(except give you a stomach ache and huge bags under your eyes)

but faith does everything.

One day,

I will be a mommy.

So that's where I've been.
Being all emo and stuff.
 I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!
See you Monday:)