Monthly Visit

It's time to talk about "girl stuff."

You know,

the visit we get from a so called "aunt" who enjoys drop kicking our ovaries every month.

She gives you a hormone cocktail,

then she tricks you into thinking that eating 2 whole boxes of hot tamales and 10 pieces of Dove chocolate is a good idea.

Liar!

For a few days, 

you morph into a creature...

that cries over nothing, 

eats everything in sight,

and growls after every sentence,

I am perfectly aware of these things,

...but I didn't think my husband was.

I thought I covered it up around him.

I thought that even during "the visit"

 I was still a sweet, kissy kissy, snugly, loving, precious wife.

I was wrong.

Apparently, during this time, he fears for his life.

Here are some examples:

On the way home from Tennessee on Monday, 

he actually agreed when I told him I wanted to drive some.

I thought he agreed because he wanted a break.

In reality, he agreed because he could tell it was that time
and he didn't want to upset me.

While I was driving, 

 I had some pretty intense road rage.

I  passed an orange road work sign that said the left lane was going to end in 2 miles and that all traffic needed to get into the right lane.

So I did.

I got into the right lane.

But there were some other vehicles that decided to stay in the left lane, 

pass everyone in the right lane, 

and then zip in front of them at the last minute.

That got under my skin.

I decided I was NOT going to let those left laners zip in front of me.

I was going to nonchalantly stay on the bumper of the car ahead of me.

That'll show em!

So that's what I did.

Or...

what I thought I did.

After about 3 drivers in the left lane flipped us the bird,

Tyler told me that I was not being nonchalant and that he felt like he needed to make a sign that said,

 "So sorry, my wife is on her period"

 and hold it out his window.
I whipped my head around and said,
AND WHY DO YOU THINK I'M ON MY PERIOD?!
he just looked at me for a few seconds and whispered,
because you are scary?...
Apparently, every time the car in front of me would move forward,

I would rev my engine, make a hateful face and look over at the left laners.

Today, we were having (what I thought was) a normal conversation.

At one point I said I was hungry.

 His response was,

"I figured you would be full since you have been biting my head off."

"What is wrong with you," "do you really hate my guts or is it just your hormones,"  and "who are you" have been frequently asked questions from Tyler for the past 3 days.
Poor guy.

When you are married, you can't hide anything..even if you try.

They should change "in good times and in bad" to "in good times and in PMS."

:)

And yes, I drew that.
I know you're impressed.

Happy Wednesday!