I thought I knew what love was, but then I had a baby.
We've all heard that, or something similar.
I never understood what that meant.
But then I had a baby.
And within the first few minutes of meeting my daughter, I said it.
I've said it every day since then.
For the past 5 months, I've wondered why people say it....why I say it.
I loved my husband before I loved my daughter, right?
I've never heard someone say, I thought I knew what love was, but then I got married.
Why? Do we not (really) love our spouses? Of course we do!
The love between spouses is wonderful. You better one another, encourage one another, look past one another's imperfections...you CHOOSE to love one another, every day.
Imagine what married life would be like if one spouse woke up one day and decided they weren't going to choose love? The whole day would be filled with being angry, unforgiving, and seeing every single imperfection their spouse had. That's how divorce happens.
After 41 weeks, I finally met my beautiful baby girl. I held her for the first time, looked into her eyes for the first time, kissed her for the first time, and I felt an overwhelming emotion that I had never felt before. I knew the emotion was love, so I said it,
"I thought I knew what love was."
I finally understand why parents say it. Why I say it.
It wasn't just a baby that grew inside me. Unconditional love also grew.
Unconditional love. That's what's different. It's not a love you choose, it's a love that's birthed.
It can't be defined. Every time I try to define it, tears fill my eyes. It's incredible and terrifying. Incredible because I had no idea I was capable of feeling a love like this. Terrifying because my heart is now outside of my body. It's a love that is completely overwhelming.
No matter what she does or who she becomes...my love will be constant.
Even when she's 40 years old, I will see her as the tiny baby who is sleeping in my arms, right now.
And just when I think there is no way this love could be more overwhelming....I remember,
this is how God feels about us- His children....His babies.
"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God-
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration- what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day."
Psalm 139:13-16 (MSG)