According to urban dictionary, the definition of a "loogie" is as follows: "A large slimy glob of spit, mixed with nose snot, that is formed by coughing up and hocking whats in your throat."Gross.
In my opinion, that definition is the most disgusting definition in the world. I saw and had to do a lot of things during LPN school that most people would refer to as "gross". I've heard people say that to be a nurse, you have to have a strong stomach..but the truth is, if nurses are honest, most will admit that they have one specific thing that turns their stomach. You guessed it! My one specific thing is sputum... aka: snot.
Before I continue, I feel like I should warn you that if you have a weak stomach, you may not want to continue reading. However, if you do continue reading, you may laugh, you may say "gross," and
you may also not be able to look at me without thinking about these stories.
My husband and I have been plagued with, what I refer to as, "the crud" for about a month now. Tyler was sick the first 3 weeks. He ended up in an urgent care clinic and the ER with a nasty sinus infection, had to take antibiotic, have a butt shot, had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic, had another butt shot, and had to take steroids for the allergic reaction. He is now fully recovered from his crud...and now I have a form of crud. Thankfully it's not as bad as Tyler's. As you can imagine, we have used a lot of tissues throughout this ordeal. Snot has become a pretty permanent resident in our home. Our new occupant has given us the 2 stories that I am now going to share with you.
Tyler was extremely sick. I had never seen him so sick. I was trying to think of anything that could potentially give him some relief. One of the things that I told him to do was take a hot shower. The steam breaks up the snot and temporarily relieves some of the sinus pressure. He agreed to try it and afterward he talked about how much it helped. He took 2 hot showers in a row. Later that day, I took a shower and got ready to go to the store to get him some things. As I was getting my coat on, I told Tyler I would be right back. He said he was going to take another hot shower. I'm so glad that's giving you some relief, babe. In the most pitiful voice, he said, "It just feels so good to blow all that snot out while I'm in the shower.".........................blow all that snot out in the shower?? I know he didn't use tissues while he was in there....eeeeeew. Autumn, you just took a shower with a tub full of snot! OMG. I'm going to vomit. Sick, sick, sick!!! But Tyler feels miserable....you can't say anything to him to make him feel bad. So, I hugged him and said, good babe. I didn't say anything to Tyler about how grossed out I was...but from that point on, I did start cleaning the shower before I used it.
Finding out that you took a shower after your husband blew his nose all over it...and not complaining about it?....that's love, I thought. That's true love.
I found out 3 nights ago that my love for my husband doesn't even compare with his love for me. Here's the other story.
I felt miserable that night. I was laying on the couch, had a box of tissues beside me, and a bag of used tissues in the floor. I decided to dope myself up. I laid back down on the couch, and while I was dozing off, Tyler asked me what he could do to make me feel better. Just lay beside me and hug me, I said. So that's what he did. I don't remember anything I'm about to tell you....all of the following information is from Tyler. I had been asleep for about an hour when he started to fall asleep. I started coughing. He was still in the early stages of sleep when all of a sudden he felt a warm sensation on his neck. He immediately knew what it was. Yes, during my coughing spell, I apparently coughed up a large loogie onto my husband's neck. EWWW. He didn't even tell me about this until the next day! Babe....are you serious????? I am SO SORRY! That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard! I'm so embarrassed! WHY didn't you wake me up?!? What did you do? Well, he replied, I got up as quietly as I could, went to the bathroom, changed my shirt, washed my neck off, laid back down with you, and about an hour later, tucked you into bed. Tyler.....did you not think that was gross? Well DUH! Of course I thought it was gross....it was the most disgusting thing ever...but I knew you felt bad and I didn't want to wake you up.
I don't even know what else to say here, I mean, if he had coughed up a loogie on my neck.....I'm pretty positive I would have not been as gentle and loving as he was. I would have probably woken him up by gagging....and if he wasn't awake after the gagging, he would have definitely woken up to the sounds of me running to the bathroom and puking. Also, I probably would have thrown in "Tyler, OMG, that is so gross!!!!!!!" somewhere in between...
Me not complaining about his snot incident.....that doesn't even compare to him not complaining about my snot incident. Seriously. THAT'S love. THAT'S true love.
What I have learned from this: 1. I already knew, but this has confirmed, that Tyler is the most patient person I have ever met; 2. I have no right to EVER, EVER....EVER fuss or complain about ANYTHING Tyler does; 3. I sure don't deserve my awesome husband....but I'm extremely glad I have him!