One of the things I have been getting used to, as a newlywed, is sharing a bed. I always worried about how my sleeping habits would work out when I had to share a bed. When I sleep, I am usually in the "mid-jumping jack position" that takes up the whole bed(aka: a bed hog)...or I am a very toasty human taco (aka: a blanket hog)...most of the time I am both of those put together. I was really hoping that once I got married, my sleeping habits would magically disappear. That's a big negative. I have woken up to a freezing husband who is half way hanging off of the bed, many times. Bless his heart...and he is so sweet about it. I wish he would wake me up and tell me to scoot over or that he needs some covers but, instead, he just deals with it.
A couple of mornings ago, my sleeping skills got even worse...
I guess I was stretching...in my sleep...and forgot that I wasn't the only one in the bed...and I punched Tyler right in the nose. (Tyler swears that right before I punched him,that I felt for his nose....so he is pretty much telling me that I felt and aimed for his nose..pshh.) My poor husband woke up to his wife punching him in the nose. It was a hard punch, too. I woke up, not only because Tyler said "OH MY GOSH!!!?!," but because my hand really hurt. I think I apologized a million times. He laughed about it, but I felt terrible.
I felt terrible until two mornings later...
Two mornings later, I was snoozing like a baby. And being the bed hog that I am, my head ended up on half of Tyler's pillow. While my head was still on his pillow, he decided he was going to turn over. Unfortunately, my head just happened to be in the exact place that Tyler's head was going to be once he turned over. BAM! His big 'ole head crushed my eye socket. I immediately woke up, crying and saying, "Tyler oh my gosh, my eye, my eye!" He was horrified. I don't remember exactly what he was saying, but I do know that he laid his hand on my eye and was speaking Jesus' healing power on it! He was probably saying something like, "Oh Jesus, I think I just gave my wife a black eye...please, please, PLEASE, heal her black eye before her family sees it...they're going to think I beat her...oh Jesus, PLEASE!" After my eye stopped throbbing, I laughed for about five minutes straight and told Tyler I didn't expect him to pay me back for the nose punch, but that I guess we were even. Our poor faces!
Thankfully, I didn't get a black eye, just a bruised eyebrow hahah.
One more story.
I updated my Facebook status the other day to something like, "Sometimes the biggest events in your life happen when/where you lease expect them to." About ten minutes later, my phone rings. It was my mom. This was our conversation:
Mom- Grace, what is up with your Facebook status?
Me- What do you mean?
Mom- Your mamaw just called me and asked if you were pregnant.
Me- WHAT? Why?
Mom- She said she read your status and thought it had a hidden meaning...but I told her that surely if you were pregnant, you would have told me...I hope, anyway....sooo?
Me- Mom. I was talking about Florida...when I met Tyler.
Mom- So you're not pregnant?
Me- No, mom.
Mom- *silence*......well crap.
After our conversation, I immediately deleted that status :)
What I have learned from this: 1. Being a bed hog is DANGEROUS! It's not only dangerous for the other person in the bed, but it's also dangerous for you! For your safety, if you are a bed hog, fix it before you get married! 2. If you are newly married, and your mom isn't a grandma yet, but you know that she REALLY wants to be one....don't update your Facebook status unless you, first, make sure it can't also be read as, "hey guys, I'm pregnant...but I'm not going to come out and say it...I'm going to write a clever status to make you all wonder!"