8.23.2013

30 days

As I was randomly browsing through Facebook this morning, a post from my photographer caught my attention. She had posted a picture of a pregnant lady...so naturally I clicked on it, and to my surprise, the pregnant lady was me.




I immediately felt so many emotions. Disbelief, mostly. And then I read what she wrote about the picture.

"'Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God.'- Job 37:14  
I know this is a time that Autumn and Tyler are standing still and considering another amazing chapter in their story. When I got to this image, I stopped. I remembered so much about how Autumn and Tyler got to be Autumn and Tyler(and now Adi, too) and God reminded me of how big His plans are."

And the tears flowed. And they continue to flow.
Three years ago, around this time, I got a phone call from a doctor who said that my test results were back. She told me I needed to sit down. I sat in silence as she said,
 All of your tests show that you have no eggs. If you were considering having children in the future, I suggest you start looking into other options. You will never be able to have a baby of your own.
I don't know if I said anything. I think I just hung the phone up. I tried to comprehend what I had just heard, and I broke down. My whole heart shattered into a million pieces. My world stopped. I had never felt such devastation...even when I received the news of having cancer.....that was nothing compared to the thought of never experiencing the feeling of having a little life growing inside of me.
The next 2 years were a rollercoaster of emotions. There was never a day when I didn't think about that phone call. I rejoiced with couples who were announcing their pregnancies and the births of their babies....but I also mourned inside.
My sweet husband would find me in bed during the day, crying...and he always said the same thing.
Babe, if God wants us to have a baby, we're going to have a baby.
I wanted to believe his words more than anything...but I couldn't. I had no eggs. How could I ever be pregnant if I didn't have eggs? It felt impossible. It was impossible.
But 8 months ago, I woke up at 4 in the morning....to pee. And while I was half asleep, I dug through my bathroom cabinet and pulled out a dust covered pregnancy test, took it, and no more than 5 seconds later, God showed me just how possible my impossible was.....I was pregnant.

And today marks exactly one month until my due date!

No matter how hopeless and impossible your situation may seem, just keep reminding yourself...
God loves showing us just how possible our impossible is.

7 comments:

The Pink Growl said...

you are adorable! such a cute pregnant girl! I love this story too! Such a blessing!

Amanda said...

I love this post, Autumn! It gives me so much hope :) so happy & excited for you!

Brittany Doyon said...

Thanks so much for posting this, I really needed to hear it today! :)

Stone Cottage Adventures said...

What a beautiful photograph! Your post made me cry. Congratulations on this lovely little miracle! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

Laynah Crawley said...

Aw I just cried. With all the horrible things we hear about in the news its so nice to hear of a true miracle like this! I know you're being sent a sweet spirit that will leave their mark on the world, and you are going to do such a great job at molding that person into who they will become.

Emily said...

the final countdown song starts playing :)
Aw, this is an amazing story.

Cori @ Everyday Enchanted said...

So beautiful! I'm so incredibly happy for you! What an amazing blessing and gift!