Pit Hair

All pits have hair.

Boy pits.

Girl pits.

They all have hair.

BUT

We girls have confused the poor boys.

We shave it off,

therefore

They think it is nonexistent.

I have learned...

Boys are VERY literal.

And they don't ask questions.

They just assume.

So in their minds,

they just assume we have hairless pits.

That brings me to this morning.

I hit the snooze button about 5 times.

The last time my alarm went off I decided I should probably get up.

Then BayLee started his morning stretches beside me.

It looked like a fabulous idea,

so I joined him.

I was in mid, full body stretch

with my toes pointed and my arms above my head

when Tyler rolled over.

His face was within an inch of my armpit.

When he opened his eyes

he identified his surroundings

and quickly scooted back.

His face was covered with fear.

I feel like I should tell you all that I am growing my pit hairs out...

I have an appointment to get them waxed.

Yep.

Waxed.

I've been growing them out for about a week

so they are currently flowing in the wind like Fabio's hair.

Ok.

 Back to this morning.

He couldn't look away from my armpit.

I was confused at first.

I had forgotten that I had footlong hairs under there.

Babe, what are you looking at?

......what is under your arm?

I looked under my arm and quickly put my arms down.

Are you talking about the hair?

You have hair under your arms?

Well yeah.  I'm growing it out so I can get it waxed.

Growing it out?

Yeah..  I'm going to get it waxed instead of shaving it.

When?

Next week.

Good.

Poor Tyler. 

He was horrified.

He had no idea.

I never knew I needed to tell him that I shave my armpits.

If I ever tell him that in addition to the pit hair,

I also have a stache on my upper lip and a forrest above my eyes,

he might have a heart attack.

I think I'll just let him find out about the my stache and forrest on his own, too.

I'll let you know how my pit wax goes...
I've never had it done before.
I'm positive it will feel like someone lit them on fire.
But they say that waxing will make them grow back fewer and finer.
So it might be worth the pain.
We'll see.

If you have ever had yours waxed or even if you haven't...
let me know how you feel about it, haha.

It's almost Friday!

Twinkle Toes

Let's back track.

Back to last Wednesday night.

Tyler and I were watching a movie.

Since I have a problem and can't stay awake during movies,

I decided to sit up on the couch and paint my fingernails.

As I was painting them,

Tyler laid down and threw his feet in my lap.

While doing so,

he knocked my arm and made me paint my whole finger.

He looked quite comfy,

  so I let him keep his feet there.

Since his toes were right in my face,

I couldn't help but notice the large talons growing on them.

 My husband has very nice feet for a man.

His heels are as soft as a baby's bottom and his toes are perfectly proportioned.

BUT

The talons.

Oh the talons.

I'm not sure why he waits until his toenails are 10 feet long before he decides to cut them...

Ok,

so I'm exaggerating.

BUT

they have gashed my leg during the night on more than one occasion. 

I have scars.

Anyway.

The temptation was too much to handle....

I painted all of the toenails on his left foot pink.

I thought he would see me.

I thought he would feel it.

But he didn't.

So I decided to keep the secret and tell him later.

Well,

I forgot.

He never noticed.

And Sunday morning...

He wore flip flops.

Not just any flip flops...

Manly dark leather flip flops with a hint of camo.

When the music was over,

he walked off stage,

sat beside me,

and I happened to look down.

And to my surprise..

His left toenails were STILL PINK.

 So all through the sermon,

I sat there.

Contemplating how to break the news.

After church, 

I just straight up told him.

You didn't.

I did.

He looked down.

You did.

I did.

When?

Wednesday night.

WHAT!?

I love you?

Guess what.

It's Monday night.

And his toes are still pink.
I mean,
after almost 11 months,
I give high fives for "number twos" and he enjoys painted toenails?

I feel like I should be worried.

     

I hope your weekend was perfect!

Are you wearing pants?

There are 3 AWESOME things about today.

1. IT'S FRIDAY!

2. I'm speaking at the local Relay for Life this evening!

3. Another one of my amazing bloggie friends is guest posting for me!

Her name is Mrs. Robinson,

and we have a lot of extremely important things in common.

likeeeeee

we are both trying to get used to the crazy, awesome, embarrassing, hilarious, and FUN married life

AND

we have the same wedding dress!!!

Those two things,

along with many others,

are what made me believe we could be long lost sisters.

She blogs over at My New Wife Life,
but today,
she hanging out with us!
Have you ever wanted to know when the honeymoon is over?
You're about to find out! 

Hey.  You can call me Mrs. Robinson.

Sorry for the formality, but I don't reveal our first names on my blog, My New Wife Life, for privacy reasons.  Plus, if I go by "Mrs. Robinson" I can use the phrase "coo-coo-kachoo" pretty often, which is cool.  If you don't know what that means, you should watch this video:

Anyway, I got married to my Mister on September 10, 2011.  Hopefully I can make you laugh in Autumn's absence by telling you three hints that mean the honeymoon phase is over.  :)
The first hint that the honeymoon is over is.... you or your husband poop with the door open.For the record, I have yet to do this.  I'll probably never muster up the courage, if that's what you'd call it, to poop with the door open.  When we were dating, he pooped the very first time he came to my apartment.  I was absolutely appalled.  Our relationship has evolved because now he poops with door open...and sometimes we talk while he poops.  I mean, why not?  Alright...enough about poop.  
The second hint that the honeymoon is over is....your husband saves his ingrown hairs to show you.This has only happened once, but I put this hint on the same page as husbands blowing snot rockets into the toilet, in the shower, or just outside in the yard.  Also equivalent to him picking his nose.  I guess the honeymoon is surely over if the wife is doing these things, but I do not do these things either.  All Mr. Robinson on these...uh...elements of marriage.  Moving on! 
The third hint that the honeymoon is over is....when your husband asks "are you wearing a diaper" in reference to your wearing a pad because your out of tampons or when your husband asks "are you wearing pants" in reference to your leg hair.Well, I couldn't very well just make my husband out to be some gross caveman, could I?  I have two flaws, myself.  And yes, that figure is my total number of flaws in case you're wondering.  Sometimes pads are just...nice.  You know what I mean.  That added protection is unmatched by anything else.  So what if they sound like diapers when you move around?  And as for the leg hair issue...I mean...if my husband went into marriage expecting me to shave my legs every day, he had unrealistic expectations.  Just sayin'.  

I could go on and on about the different hints my husband sends me to tell me that our honeymoon phase is over a mere 9 months after our wedding, but I don't want to bash the guy too bad.  He has his good qualities.  He's handsome, funny, strong-willed, tattooed, and loves Jesus.  He's everything I ever wanted.  And I love our marriage.  Most days.  There are plenty of things we do that say "the honeymoon is over" ... but as long as we love each other and stay hot for each other, it's all gravy baby.  :)    

Oh Mrs. Robinson,

I just realized another reason I think we are sisters...

You used the word poop 6 times in your post and you're not ashamed!
and I also wear diapers and pants.
It's gettin real up in here, yo!

I think this was the perfect way to end the week.

poop, diapers, ingrown hairs, snot rockets, diapers and pants.

I laughed so hard my eyes watered.

Thank you so much for posting today!!!

Love is wonderful, isn't it? 

 Have a wonderful weekend!

challenge yourself

Happy Thursday!!

I would like all of you to meet my sweet bloggie friend, Lauren!

She is guest posting for me today!

She is bffs with Hawaii.
Need I say more?
Didn't think so:)
She is awesome, and you should be friends with her, too.
Do it.
Now.
Actually,
read this awesome post,
then go be her friend!

Ladies and gents,
here she is!

 

Hey there MRS in the Making readers! I am excited to be here today posting for Autumn! 

I'm Lauren or Lo if you prefer! I blog over at a little ditty called Tippee Canoe! {come check it out!}

It was decided I should just write some fun stuff about every day life. Then I realized...shoot...my life is kind of boring! I live in a podunky little farming town and I work on peoples teeth for a job..which is only part time.. Sound exciting? You are right. It's not.

So here's the deal. Instead I am going to tell you about something I try to live by every day!

"Do one thing every day that scares you!"

Those are not the easiest words to live by, but I think they are true and important words in order to learn and grow!

I have grown SO SO much as an individual over the past couple of years that I have been trying my best to "do one thing every day that scares ME"

A couple of years ago I found my self feeling kind of blah {in a rut if you will}. I wasn't happy with a bunch of things in my life. I needed a change. I thought about all the things I could change around me and realized what I really needed was to change things inside of me!

So I did! I decided to not be comfortable in my little bubble. Besides it obviously wasn't THAT comfortable of a bubble if I was feeling so miserable! 

So off I went trying every day to be...scared? Let's say challenged!

I have loved every day when I have followed these words and ventured out of my comfort zone! Even when it is just little things like helping a stranger, making an important phone call {I dont like to talk on the phone it makes me nervous :S..I'm weird!}, telling someone no when needed, or killing a spider..ick!

OR

When it is the big things like, moving away on my own, going sky diving, or going back to school.

The bottom line I think is having faith. Faith that you can do the HARD things, or the scary things. Faith that you will learn and grow when you challenge your self!

&

Who doesn't need an adrenaline rush every now and then anyways?!

Now go do something today that scares you! You can do it!

XOXO



What great advice!
and I agree,
Faith is definitely the key.
and
Skydiving??
You go, girl!
If I had to do one thing that scares me...
it would be to look at a hot air balloon.
Just seeing one makes me vomit.
It's complicated.
I might pull up a picture of one today.
Baby steps.
Thank you so much for visiting, Lo! :)

Don't forget to give her some blog love!

auto correct.

This morning,

while Ty and I were getting ready for work,

we had the following conversation:

Ty- Babe....I feel fat.

Me- Whatever.

Ty- Seriously, do you think I'm fat?

Me- Not at all babe.

Ty- I'm fat.

Me- Stop! You're not fat!

A few hours later,

he sent me a text.

I love you my wife!

I was extremely busy at work 

so I typed my response super fast.

I thought I had typed

I love you hubby! What time is your lunch?

When I looked at my phone a few hours later,

he hadn't replied.

Why?

 Probably because my phone hates my guts.

 It auto corrected HUBBY to CHUBBY.

Therefore,

my text said 

I love you chubby! What time is your lunch? 

 

hahaha.

I will be held fully responsible if my husband starves himself.

Dear Auto Correct.

You are the devil.

I hope everyone had a perfect Wednesday! 

It's one day closer to the weekend!!

 

 

Ode to Taco Bell

Oh Taco Bell

You're very yummy

You make the hubs

have a happy tummy.

He dreams of you

All through the night,

And whispers softly

"Just one more bite."

His love for you 

grows every day.

You wipe all

His cares away.

And if you were 

a human being

I'm pretty sure 

that he'd be cheating.

In case you haven't guessed,

my husband LOVES Taco Bell.

We used to drive 60 miles to fill his taco tank,

but one recently opened up 8 miles down the road.

The very first night it was open,

we waited in line for an hour,

and he did a happy dance the whole time.

I've never seen him so excited.

 He also asked me to document the experience.

That is why I have pictures.

As he was taking the first bites,

I asked him how it was.

As he stared into his XXL burrito,

he said

This moment might be up there with our wedding day.

I may or may not have given him the stink eye.

Why did I even spend money on a wedding dress?

I should have just dressed up as a burrito!

 Of course he was just kidding.

I think.

 

Happy Monday!

 

Oh,

I signed up for Twitter today!

Mrs_Ingram11

 

Time Away.

Good morning beautiful friends!

I have missed you all so much.

Because I know I can be honest with you,

I'm going to tell you what's been going on.

Almost 2 years ago,

I was told that I wouldn't be able to have babies.

They said the radiation had caused me to go into the early stages of menopause.

When they told me, 

I didn't know what to think.

I cried,

but I didn't know how to feel.

I tried to put it in the back of my mind and forget about it.

 I was 20 at the time.

I couldn't picture my life with a baby at that point, anyway.

I was just starting nursing school and I was planning my wedding.

Even though the thought was there, 

it didn't affect me.

It didn't seem real.

But this past week,

I struggled.

I struggled more than I ever have.

The thought turned into a fear,

and the fear felt real.

When I wasn't at work,

I was in bed.

Because when I was asleep,

I couldn't feel.

I wasn't feeling that way because I was trying to have a baby and couldn't.

I was  fearful of what would happen when we did decide to try.

Last night,

as I was crying,

and pouring my heart out to my hubs,

he said,

People told you that you had an incurable cancer.

But God healed you.

People told you that you would never have a baby.

But if God wants us to have a baby,

we will have a baby.  We have to have faith.

So now,

that is what I will hold on to.

Worrying and being fearful doesn't do anything;

(except give you a stomach ache and huge bags under your eyes)

but faith does everything.

One day,

I will be a mommy.

So that's where I've been.
Being all emo and stuff.
 I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!
See you Monday:)

Who am I?

I've heard quite a few people say that if you live with someone long enough,

you will start developing some of their personality traits.

I was always like noooo,

that's so silly.

But now, I am a believer.

I think I am turning into a woman version of my husband.

I am doing things I never thought I would do, laughing at things I never thought I would laugh at, and saying things I never thought I would say.

And I am writing about this in hopes that I am not alone.

Here is an example:

My family was having a graduation party for my cousin in our backyard on Saturday,

at one point, I quietly slipped away into our house,

to take care of some business.

I locked the front door behind me.

I thought I was all alone.

I took care of the business,

and after washing my hands,

I decided to ex-neigh the match and, instead, get the new Febreeze out from under the kitchen sink.

I throw open the bathroom door,

to find my husband standing on the other side.

 Out of fear and embarrassment,

I just stood there...

and prayed that God would plug his nostrils.

Before I could say anything,

Tyler put his hand in the air and said

Babe! I'm proud of you! That would compete with one of mine! High five!

and you know what I did?

I gave him a high five.

During the past 10 months of living with Tyler,

I have caught myself expelling gasses, laughing at myself (and others) expelling gasses, and even saying the precious that's what she said line. 

And you know what is terrifying?

I secretly enjoyed that high five.

Please ladies,
tell me I'm not alone.

It's that time again!

It's Fur Baby Friday, of course.

And since I am addicted, 

here is my picture!

 

BayLee was sitting on my lap a few weeks ago, 

and when he got up, he left his perfect little paw print on my leg.

(please disregard the awkward, odd shaped freckle).

I sure love that little fella.

Have a great weekend!

That was cool.

This evening,

I cleaned.

Hard core cleaned.

Jacob informed me that he is bringing his girlfriend to our house on Monday.

I want to be a "cool" (older) married sister...

and having a clean house is cool, right?

Is cool still cool to use?

As I was questioning my coolness, 

I decided to scrub the shower to the Britney Spears Pandora Station.

Is Britney Spears still cool?

After a few songs, 

my inner dancing queen became difficult to control.

I have no dancing ability what-so-ever,

but when Loosen Up My Buttons, by the Pussycat Dolls, came on...

 what did I do? 

I decided to try out all of the provocative dance moves I have seen in music videos,

duh.

There I was.

In the shower.

Sponge in hand.

Doing my thang.

Being cool.

That went on for about 5 minutes.

 Then I realized that the bathroom blind was up.

The shower is directly in front of the window-

and unfortunately,

when the blind of any window of our house is up, 

outsiders have a crystal clear view of what's going on inside.

We live by a very popular road.

Someone had to have seen me.

At least I was fully clothed. 

Yep.

Cool is pretty much my middle name.