Time Away.

Good morning beautiful friends!
I have missed you all so much.
Because I know I can be honest with you,
I'm going to tell you what's been going on.
Almost 2 years ago,
I was told that I wouldn't be able to have babies.
They said the radiation had caused me to go into the early stages of menopause.
When they told me, 
I didn't know what to think.
I cried,
but I didn't know how to feel.
I tried to put it in the back of my mind and forget about it.
 I was 20 at the time.
I couldn't picture my life with a baby at that point, anyway.
I was just starting nursing school and I was planning my wedding.
Even though the thought was there, 
it didn't affect me.
It didn't seem real.
But this past week,
I struggled.
I struggled more than I ever have.
The thought turned into a fear,
and the fear felt real.
When I wasn't at work,
I was in bed.
Because when I was asleep,
I couldn't feel.
I wasn't feeling that way because I was trying to have a baby and couldn't.
I was  fearful of what would happen when we did decide to try.
Last night,
as I was crying,
and pouring my heart out to my hubs,
he said,
People told you that you had an incurable cancer.
But God healed you.
People told you that you would never have a baby.
But if God wants us to have a baby,
we will have a baby.  We have to have faith.
So now,
that is what I will hold on to.
Worrying and being fearful doesn't do anything;
(except give you a stomach ache and huge bags under your eyes)
but faith does everything.
One day,
I will be a mommy.

So that's where I've been.
Being all emo and stuff.
 I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!
See you Monday:)


Monica's Notebook said...

What a great supportive husband you have! And everything he said is SO true, everything is in Gods hands and if y'all are meant to have a baby you will! Stay strong pretty girl!

Sophie Brown said...

I've just stumbled across your blog and thought I'd stop by to say DON'T LOSE FAITH! My fiance also had cancer when he was younger and we've been told that he is near to infertile because of the treatment he received. Just stay positive, we are! Whatever will be, will be :) Best of luck to you! X

Anonymous said...

This post nearly made me cry! I just came across your blog and already love it. I love your honesty and your love for God! I recently just got married and can't imagine going through what you have gone through. I am so glad that you have a wonderful God loving husband. He is soo right! God gives us the desire of our hearts, look where he's brought you. Keep your chin up!

Lauren said...

I'm inspired by your strength! Prayers coming your way, girlie!!

Laura Wilson said...

Such a good man you have and he is right! Thinking of you for God to bring you hope, peace and happiness. xo

H. said...

I've always been a strong believe that everything happens for a reason-- My heart hurts for you but I know God is always faithful to make good out of the bad-- I just want you to know I'll definitely be thinking and praying for you :)

Autumn Ingram said...

He's pretty great! Thanks girl! :)

Autumn Ingram said...

Thank you so much! One day you and I will be posting pictures of our pretty little babies:)

Autumn Ingram said...

Thank you so much girl!! You are too sweet, and you are definitely right! God is awesome:)

Autumn Ingram said...

Thanks so much girl!

Autumn Ingram said...

Thank you so much girl!

Autumn Ingram said...

I totally agree! Thank you so much :)

Ashley said...

Great honest post!! Trying to predict the future will lead you no where. Keep up your positivity! Your hubby is right, it is the things in life that people tell us we can't do that only give us the strength to prove them wrong!! I will be praying that you will one dayu be blessed with a miralce! I know my own life has led me down a completely different path that what I expected, but it has only made me stronger!! You and your hubby have each other and that will get you through anything!

Montaya said...

I am praying for you Autumn with God all things are possible. It's all in his hand and he can do anything but fail. I missed reading you blog while you were gone and am looking forward to your future post take care. Have a great weekend =)

Shaylynn... I blahwg It's True. said...

Oh Autumn, what a girl you are. What a kind and wonderful girl you are. Bless your heart, in such an un-explainable journey.

God is good, he kept you here with us.

A Spinster's Dating Encyclopedia said...

What a beautiful post. Your courage is inspiring. This really turned my day around for the better.

Mrs. Robinson said...

Oh you sweet girl. This breaks my heart for you...I hate that you're dealing with some pretty rough thoughts and feelings. Try to stay strong and remember that He is faithful! =) Say it in the sunshine and SCREAM it in the darkness, even if it's just to convince yourself. He is faithful.

Praying for your heart..

Rachel said...

Wow thanks for being so honest and sharing! I am talking with my dr. this week to start testing since we've been trying now for over a year with no luck, and I can't imagine what it will be like if I hear those same words too.. Also what great advice from your hubby, that's so awesome that he is so supportive.☺☺

Autumn Ingram said...

Thanks Ashley!! You are so right!

Autumn Ingram said...

Thank you girl!! I appreciate it so much!

Autumn Ingram said...

Friend. I adore you.

Autumn Ingram said...

Thank you so much sweet friend!!!

Autumn Ingram said...

I will be praying for you, girl! I hope all goes well!!

Lauren Cooper said...

You are a strong and beautiful woman! Sometimes faith is all there is let to do. You are an inspirtation :)

Tricia said...

No need to apologize or even explain. But I'm sure your honesty helps others going through the same thing as you.
Just like your hubby said, you've fought through cancer, you can do anything.However it happens, I'm sure you'll be a mother and a great one at that.

Rachael {All Things Beautiful} said...

Thinking of you and praying for you!

Raina Liz Party Biz said...

My sister in law struggled for many years to have a baby and it never happened. Then she was told that she had a rare form of Breast Cancer and she had a very small chance of survival. Her doctors also told her that she would not have children. She was diagnosed in January of 2008 had a double mastectomy in July of 2008 was declared cancer free in September 2008..and by September 2009 her son was born. There is no doubt in our minds that God healed her and that when the time was right God gave her a baby. Our God is greater then any doctor and if God wants you to have a baby you will.

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