I've been waiting for you...

We had a yard sale from 8-noon on Saturday.

We made 100 dollars.

It was a good day.

I was munchin on some cottage cheese
(really, I was....how ironic.)
when I noticed I had some on the back of my thigh...

I was wearing shorts and I was perfectly positioned in my chair to see the horiffic/grusome/depressing sight.

I officially have cellulite.

I have been dreadfully awaiting it's arrival for years.

Every summer I inspect and pinch...

and I pray that the backs of my thighs will be smooth for one more summer.

But this year,

they curdled.

Either that, 

or someone hit me in the backs of my thighs with a bag of nickles while I was sleeping.

Neither one of those scenarios are good.
Oh womanhood- you just keep getting better and better.

I need your help!!!!

I've been brainstorming...

and I need your help.

I have really been wanting to start a swap.

Not a button swap

(although I always like those)

but a package swap.

You know,

the snail mail kind.

I think it would be really neat to send and receive a package from different bloggie friends.

Maybe like every 3 months?

Here's how (I'm thinking) I will start this process:

If you are interested,

let me know! :)

If I can get at least 10 fellow bloggers who are interested,

I'll start an email chain.

In the email,

I will send some questions to answer about yourself,

and also let you know when the "mail out" day will be!

Then I'll pair you up with a Bloggy Package Swap Friend and send you their info:)

You will get a new BPSF (Bloggy Package Swap Friend) every 3 months!

Sound like fun?

I think so!!

I think it will be a neat way to get to know our blog friends even better!

Please please please share your opinions/sugestions!!!

burn baby burn

I bought an aloe plant!

Why?

Because my hubs burned his nips off!

 

We decided to float around in the pool

and soak up some sun.

Sooo relaxing.

Like most ladides,

I consider myself to be a pretty professional sun bather.

You know,

20 minutes on the back,

flip,

20 minutes on the front,

flip,

so on and so forth.

Even when I fall asleep,

I always wake up for the flip.

I assumed Tyler was also a professional.

He is not.

I assumed he had his own little routine.

He does not.

There we were,

floating in the sun.

After about 4 flips

I was ready for a Popsicle,

so I ran in the house to grab one...

while in the house,

I decided to sit down and enjoy my Popsicle in the AC. 

At some point,

I fell asleep in the recliner...

in the house...

Around 3 o'clock.

I woke up to

"BABE!"

I jumped up.

"How long have you been in here?"

 I looked at my phone.

It was 3:40pm.

"Ummmm 40 minutes?"

 Then my husband came around the corner...

his face, chest, and stomach were burned to a crisp.

Yes.

Just the front of his body.

He had a perfect white outline on his belly where his swimming trunk strings were. 

He never flipped.

He assumed I would wake him up and tell him to turn when I did.

oops.

I flipped 4 times,

every 20 minutes.

That's 80 minutes/1 hour and 20 minutes.

plus the 40 minutes I slept in the house.

That makes 2 hours.

At least he isn't (completely) light pale anymore.

I'm such a good wife:)

 

I Wish.

The hubs and I made up a game a looooooooooong time ago.

It's called "I wish."

You can play it anywhere.

It's pretty addicting.

The rules are simple.

When you see a man that has a fashion sense you "wish" your husband would copy

or when he sees a woman that has fashion sense he "wishes" you would copy,

you/ he says "I wish."

(But you can't just say it,

you have to sound like you mean it.)

Then you/they have to look around and find the "I-wisher."

Here,

I'll give you an example.

You see this man:

You say "I wish."

Your hubs looks around and when he spots the guy,

you  both die laughing.

This would probably be one of Tyler's "I-wishers."

:P

The possibilities are endless.

Nurp.

Let me introduce you to another embarrassing “married moment.”

The nurp.

I had no idea that nurps existed.

I had no idea what they were.

Until now.

I was getting ready for work when I felt a burp coming on.

I had eaten onions the night before,

so I knew it was going to be gross.

Right when I was going to let it out,

Tyler came up to me and leaned in for a kiss.

I didn’t want to ruin the sweet moment by saying

Hold on one second; let me burp before you kiss me.

That’s romantic.

I had an idea.

I would burp (really fast) with my mouth closed.

You know,

 to silence it.

Tyler would never know.

Problem solved.

I finished the burp just in time for the kiss.

But as he came closer to my face,

I heard

Oh my gosh, what is that smell?! Did you burp??

What?

How did he know?

I got rid of that burp.

I silenced it.

Like a silencer on a gun.

Wait.

Even though a silencer silences the shot of the gun…

the bullet still comes out.

I didn’t think about that.

Crap.

But how did the burp get out?

Oh.

Oh yeah.

The nose/mouth/throat are all pretty intertwined.

That means when I forcefully exhaled

(after silencing the burp),

it wasn’t just carbon dioxide leaving my nostrils.

It was also my burp stink.

I nurped right in my hubs face.

That’s not a mood killer at all.

nurp- (noun): the result of silencing a burp and exhaling through the nose

Decisions

Can I just say that my life has been every definition of CRAZY since my last post?

Because it has.

 We have been making a lot of decisions.

(The words in the parenthesis describe how each decision makes me feel.)

 

Decision #1=house (uber excited)

I loved the house.

BUT

I also love a lot of other houses we have looked at.

Therefore,

there is A LOT of intense prayer going on right now.

We want to be a million and twelve percent positive that we are picking the right one!

The hubs took all of our information to a loan office,

just to make sure we could get a loan remotely close to what we would need (for any of the houses).

We were extremely surprised to find out that we were approved for WAY more than we thought we would be.

I am so blessed to have a "money minded" husband.

I openly admit that I am terrible with money.

He is the only reason we are able to buy a house.

He is the best saver and tither ever!

Decision #2= anniversary trip (old and happy)

our 1 year anniversary is quickly approaching.

We had planned (and saved) to go to Florida (where we first met).

But we encountered a problem.

Since I just recently started my job,

I found out that I only had 2 vacation days.

Our anniversary is on August 6th,

so I took Friday (the 3rd) and Monday (the 6th) off.

We were going to make the 10 hour drive on Friday,

do around on Saturday,

visit friends on Sunday,

make the 10 hour drive, back home, on Monday,

and go back to work on Tuesday.

After much deliberation,

we both admitted that we weren't looking forward to driving 20 hours in 4 days.

So we have decided to celebrate our anniversary close by,

and go to Florida when I can take a whole week off....

because we're an old married couple...

and we just can't travel long distances in short amounts of time like we used to ;)

Decision #3= dog #2? (sad)

Oh my gosh.

This was a not so good decision.

For real.

We had made ourselves believe that our BayLee boy needed a sibling.

We thought he was lonely.

We thought wrong.

Last week, 

we found a 9 month old yorkie poo online.

She was being fostered by the SPCA.

We just KNEW she was going to be PERFECT.

Her and BayLee would be bffs and frolic in a field full of flowers.

HA!

Sunday came,

and off we went.

To KENTUCKY.

To pick her up.

The last thing the foster mommy said to me was,

now if things don't work out, just bring her on back, she's my baby!

I chuckled because I just couldn't imagine how it could NOT work out.

Let me just tell you how it could NOT work out.

The poor puppies.

They hate each other.

I know.

I KNOW.

Everyone says that it takes time.

But they are literally trying to kill each other.

And when they aren't trying to kill each other,

they are plotting to kill each other.

I can tell.

It's not good.

She is the SWEETEST baby girl.

And BayLee is the sweetest boy.

They just aren't sweet together.

They fight (not play)

and I can't handle the amount of poop-age that has been going on in my house.

BayLee is COMPLETELY house broken.

Sweet girl is not.

Sweet girl poops in the floor.

Sweet girl gets in trouble.

BayLee decides to regress....

and poop in the floor, too.

Mama can't handle that.

Maybe if I had endless amounts of time to work with them.

But I don't:(

I'm pretty sure we will have to take her back this Saturday,

and it breaks my heart.

I have cried and cried and cried.

The doggy fairytale in my head was a major fail.

 I feel like BayLee was trying to warn me in this picture.

Hey mom, poo on this...she looks sweet now...but this is just the car ride home...mom...hey mom...we really don't like each other. 

Decision #4= mani pedi! (HECK YES)

I decided to have my FIRST mani pedi since my wedding.

I'm not kidding when I say we have been hard core saving!

Before our wedding,

I got them every month.

Yep.

I sure did.

But I figured I could give them up for a while.

 I was spending 60 bucks per month.

Times that by 11 and that gives you $660!

Every little bit counts!

Anyway,

It was the best mani pedi EVER.

So that's where I've been!

I've entered the world of "grown up" decisions...

you know, 

the one our parents constantly told us about.

It's a love/hate relationship.

I hope you had a FABULOUS day!

House

We are probably going to be making one of our first major married decisions very soon.
We are probably going to be buying a house!!!!!!
I'm so excited I am on the verge of peeing my pants. Really.
It has tons of land for Tyler to hunt on. And it has all new hard wood floors. I haven't seen the inside yet, I'm going there after work, but the words "hard wood" already have me sold.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! <---- that was me screaming.
However, I also have the urge to vomit. ...it's such a big decision. I mean, am I really ready to give up my sinful/satisfying shopping escapades? Am I ready for eating out to be a "treat"?
I'm really a grown up now...it's official.
This is so weird!!!! I definitely have butterflies in my stomach.
We might be getting ready to start a whole new life chapter and I can hardly contain myself!
I hope you all are having an amazing day!!
My face may or may not be stuck like this...

Pimple Poppin' Partners

I did something else that I never thought I would do.

Before I was married,

I believed that the most disgusting thing on earth

was for couples to pop eachother's pimples.

ew.

I couldn't imagine doing such a thing.

I mean,

Who could do that?

Why would you want to do that?

How is it possible to pop a pimple on your significant other and still find them attractive?

Do they not think it's gross?

After 11 months of marriage,

I can now answer all of those questions.

Q: Who could do that?

A: ........me.

Q: Why would you want to do that?

A: because of extreme pimple pain and insufficient arm length...it was serious.

Q: How is it possible to pop a pimple on your significant other and still find them attractive?

A: I'm not sure how that works.

But I still think my hubs is a sexy beast.

I'm not real sure how he feels about the situation.
Q: Do they not think it's gross?
A: yes, of course it's gross
(and slightly enjoyable....did I just say that?)
duh. 

So how did this go down?

It's all Tyler's fault.

He came up to me and said,

Babeeeeeeeeeeeeee, can you look at my back?

Something is really sore back there.

So I looked.

And smack dab in the middle of his back was Mount Vesuvius.

Ewwww Tyler, you have a bump the size of Texas. Please pop that sucker.

He proceeded to turn his back to the mirror and attempt.

But his attempt failed.

He couldn't reach it....

so he looked at me.

Tyler. No. Don't even ask.

But Autumn...it hurts SO BAD.

No.

Please?

NO.

If you love me, you’ll do it.

…

Of course he would throw that out there.

So I hesitantly agreed to relieve his pimple pain.

I squeezed.

He screamed.

It popped.

I dry heaved.

And that was that.

I did it.

Something I said I would never do.

But that’s not it.

A couple days later,

I developed Mount Everest on my back.

In the ONLY place that I couldn’t reach.

But I tried, by golly.

I tried my hardest.

The only thing I did was make it even bigger and more painful than it already was. 

soooo

I asked my husband….

to pop it.

Just saying that makes me want to vomit.

He agreed.

He squeezed.

I screamed.

He squeezed.

I cried/laughed.

He squeezed some more.

It popped.

And that was that.

 I remember when I would have rather died that let him see one of my pimples.

My how things change.

Hello 1 year (almost) of marriage.

We’ve crossed another one of those lines.

You know,

the comfort lines.

Once you cross them,

there’s no going back.

Scary.

Here we are..

pimple poppin' partners.

What comfort lines have been crossed in your relationship?

Happy Friday Eve!

Oh derecho!

Hey y'all!

I'm so happy to be back.

The only word to describe the past few days is surreal.

I don't know if you all are familiar with my geographic location,

but the only natural disaster we have ever had is flooding.

Don't get me wrong,

flooding is awful,

but usually there is at least a little time to prepare for the floods.

On Friday evening, 

we had a storm called a derecho.

Never heard of it?

Neither had I.

Here is a picture that was taken a few towns over from me:

Apparently,

 a derecho is "a widespread, long-lived wind storm that is associated with a band of rapidly moving showers or thunderstorms. Although a derecho can produce destruction similar to that of tornadoes, the damage typically is directed in one direction along a relatively straight swath. As a result, the term 'straight-line wind damage' sometimes is used to describe derecho damage. By definition, if the wind damage swath extends more than 240 miles ... and includes wind gusts of at least 58 mph ... or greater along most of its length, then the event may be classified as a derecho. "

Our wind gusts were 80 mph.

In a nutshell,

it's pretty scary.

Especially when we don't usually see a ginormous thing that looks like a tornado.

When I walked outside and saw a dark red/yellow sky with weird clouds that were moving a million miles an hour...

I definitely pooped my pants.

Straight up.

Not really,

but REALLY.

We (as a state) weren't prepared at all for something like this.

Not in the least bit.

We always have thunderstorms in the summertime...

so when I got an alert on my work computer at 3pm on Friday afternoon, 

telling me there was a severe storm warning beginning at 7:05pm,

I didn't even think twice about it.

They weren't kidding around.

Since the majority of the storm happened in the dark,

waking up to no power, trees uprooted, telephone poles/ power lines snapped in half, cars fighting over gas and people fighting over food....

We were looking over our backs for zombies.

The food situation is a lot better,

and the state is slowly getting their power back,

but the gas situation is still bad.

The hundreds of thousands of PGA tourists and temperatures in the 90s and hundreds are making things a little more complicated,

but the bottom line is it's getting better.

On a happier note,

BayLee got his first girlfriend through this whole ordeal.

Her name is Lilly.

Her parents (my aunt and uncle) stayed with my parents for a day while they were without power.
Oh, puppy love.

Here are a few more pictures I took during the past few days,

Went at 9:30pm to get gas (when the gas truck came to fill the pumps up) and finally filled my tank up at midnight.

After the long wait, mom realized her gas cap was on the wrong side, haha.

National Guard delivering water to my clinic.

BayLee enjoying some AC in my car.

I sure am ready for the 4th!!!
How about y'all!?

State of emergency

Hey friends!
I normally don't post on Sundays but i feel like I need to, today.
Please pray for West Virginia!
We have been hit by a storm like we've never seen before. It happened on Friday night. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen. The whole state is without power, and because of that there is a massive food and gasoline shortage. We are in a state of emergency.
I charged my phone in my car for a few minutes so I could check on family and friends and I wanted to give you all an update as well.
Love you all! Hopefully I will talk to you soon!!!