Let me introduce you to another embarrassing “married moment.”
The nurp.
I had no idea that nurps existed.
I had no idea what they were.
Until now.
I was getting ready for work when I felt a burp coming on.
I had eaten onions the night before,
so I knew it was going to be gross.
Right when I was going to let it out,
Tyler came up to me and leaned in for a kiss.
I didn’t want to ruin the sweet moment by saying
Hold on one second; let me burp before you kiss me.
That’s romantic.
I had an idea.
I would burp (really fast) with my mouth closed.
You know,
 to silence it.
Tyler would never know.
Problem solved.
I finished the burp just in time for the kiss.
But as he came closer to my face,
I heard
Oh my gosh, what is that smell?! Did you burp??
How did he know?
I got rid of that burp.
I silenced it.
Like a silencer on a gun.
Even though a silencer silences the shot of the gun…
the bullet still comes out.
I didn’t think about that.
But how did the burp get out?
Oh yeah.
The nose/mouth/throat are all pretty intertwined.
That means when I forcefully exhaled
(after silencing the burp),
it wasn’t just carbon dioxide leaving my nostrils.
It was also my burp stink.
I nurped right in my hubs face.
That’s not a mood killer at all.

nurp- (noun): the result of silencing a burp and exhaling through the nose

1 comment:

Ashley said...

HA! Thanks for sharing. I actually Laughed Out Loud with this post, ya know the real lol not the fake one!