fear with a side of chest pain.

my biggest fear on the planet.

the top of my list fear.

happened yesterday.

and I have been having chest pains ever since.

really. I have.

I know it's not bad chest pains though.

it's not "hey I'm dying" chest pains.

it's the

 "dear Jesus, please save me before I am eaten by the man standing on his porch wearing only his jeans, with an unbuckled belt, beard down to his belly button, massively hairy upper body, trucker hat and misplaced dentures"

 chest pains. 

fyi, those pains tend to stick around.

want to know what my biggest fear is?

getting lost.

not just getting lost,

but getting lost with no cell phone service and no gps.

all of that happened yesterday.

in the mountains.

with partially paved one lane roads with names like Incubation Holler. 

yes, Incubation Holler.

I remembered the name of that road on purpose

because I was positive that my 48 Hour Investigation episode on the ID channel would be called Murder on Incubation Holler.

I'll start at the beginning.

yesterday morning,

I had orientation at an Alzheimer's facility.

I had never been to the facility before,

but I knew my handy dandy gps would get me there.

I am directionally and geographically challenged.

my gps is not a convenience.

it's a necessity.

I missed all of the map questions in my grade school, middle school, and high school geography classes.

I also used to think that England was attached to the United States.

...

back to the handy dandy gps.

I knew it would get me there.

I checked mapquest Tuesday night to see how long the trip would take me,

set my alarm,

and went to bed with no worries.

when I got inside my car the next morning,

I immediately realized that my gps was not in there.

I panicked for 2.5 seconds

until I remembered that I also had a gps on my phone!

PERFECT!

I typed in the address of my destination,

hit the interstate,

and away I went.

the gps told me to take exit 7.

so I did.

total mistake.

exit 7 took me deep into the mountains.

scary deep.

after 25 minutes of back mountain roads,

I was curious as to why my gps lady hadn't said anything for awhile.

I looked down at my phone...

and to my HORROR,

I had no service...

which in turn,

meant that I had no gps signal.

oh,

and did I mention it was also raining?

because it was.

I frantically pulled off onto the side of the road,

looked to the right,

saw the half naked hairy man looking at me from his dilapidated porch,

looked to the left,

and saw the Incubation Holler road sign,

and immediately started to cry and hyperventilate.

I decided that I would turn around and try to find my way back to the interstate.

but as I started driving the other way,

I didn't recognize anything.

after about 10 minutes of trying to find my way out,

I saw a car coming the other way.

as they passed me,

I saw BLUE SCRUB TOPS!

they were classmates!

hallelujah!

they were going pretty fast,

so I whipped my car around and tried to catch up with them.

I caught up and started following them.

every turn they made,

I made.

which isn't creepy at all.

we came to a fork in the road.

they turned on their left blinker.

so I turned on my left blinker.

then they floored it, skidded their tires and went right instead.

I tried my hardest to catch back up to them,

but they were going too fast.

I don't know my classmates yet,
and they don't know me.
or my car.

so I know they thought I was a weirdo following them out of creepiness instead of desperation.

I lost them and I was lost again.

I have no idea how, but I finally made it.

and I have been traumatized ever since.

 you might be thinking,

"Autumn, why on earth would you freak out so much?"

well.

I'll tell you why.

go to google.

and type in the words "wrong turn west virginia."

read the summary of the movie(s)...and while you're at it,

move your mouse to the left and click on images.

OR just go rent the movie and watch it.

that's why, friend.

that's why.