Nurp.

Let me introduce you to another embarrassing “married moment.”

The nurp.

I had no idea that nurps existed.

I had no idea what they were.

Until now.

I was getting ready for work when I felt a burp coming on.

I had eaten onions the night before,

so I knew it was going to be gross.

Right when I was going to let it out,

Tyler came up to me and leaned in for a kiss.

I didn’t want to ruin the sweet moment by saying

Hold on one second; let me burp before you kiss me.

That’s romantic.

I had an idea.

I would burp (really fast) with my mouth closed.

You know,

 to silence it.

Tyler would never know.

Problem solved.

I finished the burp just in time for the kiss.

But as he came closer to my face,

I heard

Oh my gosh, what is that smell?! Did you burp??

What?

How did he know?

I got rid of that burp.

I silenced it.

Like a silencer on a gun.

Wait.

Even though a silencer silences the shot of the gun…

the bullet still comes out.

I didn’t think about that.

Crap.

But how did the burp get out?

Oh.

Oh yeah.

The nose/mouth/throat are all pretty intertwined.

That means when I forcefully exhaled

(after silencing the burp),

it wasn’t just carbon dioxide leaving my nostrils.

It was also my burp stink.

I nurped right in my hubs face.

That’s not a mood killer at all.

nurp- (noun): the result of silencing a burp and exhaling through the nose