Words with Chando, secret agent man....smiley turd?

I'm in a pretty weird mood today.

I guess it's the "last day of the year" funk.

In honor of the funk,

this post is going to be pretty random/weird/useless.

I've heard "YOU LOOK LIKE THE GIRL IN THE LYING GAME!" quite a few times.

I don't watch the lying game, but after the 10th person said it, I finally decided to look her up.

Her name is Alexandra Chando.

I'm don't really think we look that much alike.

The only thing I see a resemblance in is our joker chins.

What do you think?

Over the past couple of days, 

My brother has gotten me addicted to Words With Friends.

I know. I'm like 500 years behind the times. It's not the "it" game anymore.

Since no one I know is playing, I've successfully transferred my addiction to hubs.

I'm also playing with some random person with the screen name "shawty"...

I guess that's gangster for shorty? That's how I say it, anyway. Shaw-tee.

I have at least 2 games going with hubs,

3 with my brother,

1 with his girlfriend,

and 2 with shawty 

at all times.

That's 8 games that are constantly being played.

I have at least 2 notifications, to tell me it's my turn, every 5 minutes.

I even gave the notifications their own ring tone.

I call it the exciting ring tone.

I forgot to put my phone on vibrate yesterday during church..

and the exciting ringtone rang throughout the sanctuary.

Instead of being worried/embarrassed that my phone was going off during the sermon,

I was filled with happiness and it took all I had to not play the round right then.

But I was a big girl, and just put my phone on vibrate.

I also may have looked at the word shawty played.

....maybe.

If you play, look me up!

Hubs got a laser/strobe light thing for his home protection gun with some of his Christmas money.

Now he constantly walks around the house like he's a secret agent,

pretending there's a killer somewhere.

I took these while laying in bed on Saturday morning.

I love Instagram (Mrs_Ingram11) and I have been wondering how to get the cute little emoticons.

I finally realized it was an app,

and I fell in love with the little fella beside Hubs.

I decided I wanted to see him all the time,

so I placed him beside the person's name who calls/texts me the most.

Yep, that's why I decided on his placement.

Well, that and because Hubs can also be a turd sometimes....

but even when he acts like a turd, I still think he's cute.

Therefore, cute little smiling turd has a permanent home.

I'm going to end this post before I kill you with any more randomosity.

I hope all of you have a great New Year's eve!

Be safe!

Christmas photo purge

Where in the world did Christmas go?

I had no idea today was Friday.

I've been in some sort of stupor for the past 3 days.

All I've done is eat and lay around.

Seriously. I just looked in the mirror for the first time since Tuesday...

no bra, a bun that's migrated to the side of my head, no makeup, crumbs on my shirt, sleep crust in my eyes, and thighs that have tripled in size.

Not pretty.

 I've decided to tell you about my week in pictures.

Don't worry,

there are no pictures of the terrifying sight I just described.

1. Cheesy picture at the family Christmas party. Taken so it can be posted on Facebook to prove we still like each other.

2. My brother's girlfriend. His first serious girlfriend. AKA: the girl that scares the ba-jeez out of me.  Not because she's scary. She is the sweetest, funniest, most gorgeous, girl ever. I really REALLY like her. I've just never seen my brother so crazy in love with a girl...and THAT is why I'm scared.

3. Mad cause he's losing at BINGO. 

4. BINGO at the party. Redneck style. Yes, that's corn. And after bingo, it's deer bait.

 

5. My first BINGO win of the night. Everyone who comes to the party brings a bingo prize. That mug was the prize I brought. Don't tell anyone. I've never wanted a $1 mug so badly.

6.  second win of the night. cookie jar.

7.  third win. Christmas sign.  I was winning like a boss.

8. see that ornament on the tree? no? oh, that's because every single ornament hubs put on the tree looked like that.  behind the garland.  the garland which, by the way, I made/sewed myself. Because I'm insane. But it looks gorgeous. I should have taken a picture of the whole tree.

9. BayLee being a doll baby.
10. dawwww! It's Santa Paws!
11. after I took 375829754895793068590368 pictures, he let me know how ticked off he was.
12. Christmas present from his aunt! He's such a trooper.

13. I know. I'm mean. 

14. My dashing brother.

15. Hubs got a lot of camo for Christmas...... it scares me.

16. one of the many causes for my thighs tripling. Chocolate covered potato chips. Sent from heaven.

17.  Hubs and my cute mom.

18.  the adorable sewing box from my mom. She said she bought it because I've been so domesticated lately. Because of that sewing box, hubs has given me about 6 of his shirts to fix......

19.  Typical.

I hope y'all had a very merry Christmas!!!!

the end of the world.....thanks to Larry.

Well here we are.

The day before "the end of the world."

And why do people believe tomorrow is the end?

Oh yeah, because of the Mayans.

Something about how their calendar ends...and blah blah blah blah.

I would like to propose a theory.

A theory I've had for a while now.

The Cramp Theory.

One day, in the 5th century,

the head Mayans gave Larry a job.

It was tedious, and would require patience...

endurance.

Larry was appointed to write the calendar.

Not just for the year,

but for infinity.

So Larry sat down and began to write.

He wrote for hours,

for days,

for months...

 for years.

He had written all the way up to the 21st century calendars.

He had finished writing December 20th of 2012,

and as he began to write December 21st,

he had the worst hand cramp of all time.

(before this particular cramp, he had thousands of other hand cramps...but this one was the father of all hand cramps...)

And he quit.

Of course, no one else wanted his job...
would you want constant hand cramps?
probably not.

and that was that.

The end of the Mayan Calendar.

And here we are.

Thanks Larry.

You could have at least sucked it up long enough to write us a little note or something.

It didn't even have to be detailed.

Something along the lines of

 suck, hand cramp, OMG

that would have been sufficient.

  

the lobes of my life

Today is hubs' birthday!

So naturally this blog post is going to be an ode to him.

He's a good 4 and a half years older than I am,

and he is quickly approaching the next big 0.

30.

No, he's not 30 yet,

but I've been giving him a hard time.

I haven't necessarily called him old,

I've just been letting him know 

 that I'm glad he will always have to hit the big birthdays a solid number of years before I do.

Which means he will have to use adult diapers before me,

and I will always feel young.

And now it's time to show a cheesy picture of him when he was little.

I want to take a second to point out his lobes.
so juicy.
You might think I'm weird
(I'll understand),
but I'm going to let you in on a little secret.
You know how people ask you
What's the first thing you noticed about him/her?
I've never been able to truthfully answer that question.
I always respond with one of the cliche answers like
his dreamy eyes, his gorgeous smile or his sexy bod.
And while I did notice all of those things,
None of them were what I noticed first.
If I were to answer truthfully,
I would say
his luscious lobes.
I'm pretty sure my truthful answer would cause some terribly awkward situations.
So I avoid it.
I have a thing with earlobes.
As soon as I laid my eyes on his lobes,
I heard angels sing.
I like to rub them when I'm stressed or nervous.

I rub mine, too...

but they aren't as glorious as his.

And they keep getting juicier with age.

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER!
I love you (and your lobes) so much!

GFC Blog Hop!

I am co-hosting the GFC Blog Hop with Melissa @ The Life of a Not So Ordinary Wife, today, and I am beyond excited! 

I love making new blog friends- it makes this huge world seem a little bit smaller.

 I can't wait to meet y'all!

(if you don't know how it works, just read the rules below)

It's Tuesday again which means it's time for the GFC Blog Hop!

When I want to follow a blog the first thing I look for is GFC (Google Friend Connect), it's so easy and  nice to be able to go and see all of the blogs you follow in one spot. It's really a great tool to have. 

One side note- Did you know you can follow through GFC using your Twitter Account? TRUE, it's definitely an option!

Ok, so let's get to the party, shall we?

RULES are simple:

1. Follow your host via GFC

The First link below

2. Follow your co-hosts via GFC

The Next 8 links below

3. Link up below using your main blog url not a specific post.

4. Make sure to visit some of the blogs in the link up and follow them via GFC 

and if you want to leave them a comment, I'm sure they'd appreciate that as well.

5. Tweet about this blog hop

Tweet

6. Share about this blog hop by grabbing a button and putting it on your sidebar!

<a href="http://www.thelifeofanotsoordinarywife.com/search/label/gfcbloghop"> <img src="http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z237/melissaenault/gfcbloghop-1.gif" border="0" /></a>

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Letter from BayLee.

Hi, I'm BayLee!

(the one mom floods Instagram with)

Speaking of mom, she's still in bed.  She keeps saying something about re-cooperating from last week.  She had something called finals. I have no idea what finals is, but I guess I had it, too, because it was the worst week of my life. See, mom and I have a routine: I wake mom up lick mom's face and get my morning belly scratch; after the belly scratch, we go outside to sniff and pee on every piece of tall grass I can find do my morning business; and the rest of the day is filled with snuggles, going on walks, playing, sleeping, and more belly scratches....but last week our routine was non existent. From Monday through Wednesday, she sat in the living room and looked at books ALL DAY.  So I just stared at her and tried to look as pitiful as possible.

 This was me on Monday.

Tuesday.

Wednesday.

Mom was gone all day Thursday, and things have been normal since Friday...so I guess finals is gone. I hope it never comes back. Well, it's time to wake mom up!

See ya on Instagram!

Lots of licks,

BayLee

Link up: Blog Friend Package Swap #2!

It's that time, again!

Time to reveal all of our goodies from the BFPS!

This time it was a holiday item/ornament swap.
My partner was the lovely and hilarious Whitney from The Middle of the Street.
I absolutely adore her.
You should go be her friend.

Here's what she sent me:

(Please forgive the horrible blurriness of this picture I took with my phone..my camera is MIA.)

Fuzzy socks (a girl's best friend- they have snuggled my toes on numerous occasions),
 a secret chocolate orange (that I can't bring myself to eat because of it's secretiveness),
 and a BYU elf ornament (that is hanging right smack dab in the middle of my tree).
Coolest presents EVER.

Thanks Whitney!!!
Especially for getting me the size 9-11 socks.
(Tall girl rules.)
You're the bomb dot com.

Now to all you lovely ladies who did the BFPS,
it's time to LINK UP!
If you want to add that little BFPS button to your post ,
just click on the "link up" tab at the top of my blog page.
Can't wait to see your posts!

I hope everyone has a fabulous day!

cheek n' slide

When Tyler's parents were here,

we rode in their vehicle most of the time.

It's a maroon SUV thing.

Kind of like a Tahoe,

but not a Tahoe?

I'm not even sure if SUV would be the correct category.

BUT all you need to remember is 

MAROON and TAHOE-LIKE.

We went to the movies one evening and when the movie was over,

I was walking about 100 steps in front of everyone.

I was hungry...

I get weird and antisocial when I'm hungry.

I quickly walked to the MAROON/TAHOE-LIKE vehicle,

opened the backseat passenger door,

grabbed onto the little grabby thing on the ceiling,

pulled myself up,

slid my left cheek onto the seat

(no, not my left face cheek),

and in the middle of pulling my right leg into the vehicle 

and scooting my right cheek onto the seat...

I looked around.

I beat everyone to the car.

EXCEPT IT WASN'T OUR CAR.

I was in a stranger's car.

Hanging out.

There were a couple of presents in the floor board...

I should have went ahead and opened them

since I WAS IN THEIR CAR.

I immediately flung myself onto the pavement,

slammed the door,

and started running toward my husband and inlaws...

who were WATCHING me and LAUGHING the whole time.

That incident ranks in my top 10 most embarrassing moments.

Yeah,

I've gone up to cars that I thought were mine,

but I never actually got in.

I had never grazed my cheeks on a random stranger's car seat before.

I sure hope the owner of that car doesn't commit murder or something...

because I was definitely in there long enough for some of my skin cells and hair to flake off.

Oh, and one more thing.

WHO LEAVES THEIR DOORS OPEN IN AN EXTREMELY POPULATED CITY?

...

 if you leave your doors open,

LOCK THEM....

or you might have a weird, antisocial, unobservant hungry woman cheek n' slide you.

Happy Tuesday!

And for all of you who have finals this week....

I feel your pain. 

Alaska-in-the-box

I'm pretty sure I've already told y'all how bad I am at geography.

Before the hubs and I got married,
I didn't try to hide my geographic disability.
I told him.
"If someone held a gun to my head and said they would spare me,
 as long as I could label a map of the US correctly.....
I would die. Literally. They would end up shooting me. 
And if they asked me to label all of the continents and countries...
I would tell them to go ahead and kill me."
He thought I was being silly and laughed it off.
It's taken him almost 4 years....
but I think he finally realized that I wasn't being silly.

I almost talked myself out of telling you what I'm about to tell you.....
but this is me.
uncut and uncensored.
You're welcome.

Hubs and I were watching "Alaskan Troopers."
I think it's on the Discovery channel.
Obviously, it's about Alaskan Troopers.
As I watched it,
my brain was in overdrive.
Here is a small excerpt of what I was thinking:
Hmm...Alaska is dark for 6 months....that's insane....and it looks so cold there...the Troopers have to use snow mobiles.....and their lips are so chapped....wait...where exactly is Alaska? 
So I decided to ask my husband- 
me: Tyler. Where is Alaska?
hubs: Really?
me: well yeah. I mean...I know it's out in the ocean somewhere..I guess it's close to Antarctica.
hubs: Autumn. Are you serious?
me:Well where is it?
hubs: Stop it. You know it's attached to Canada.
me: What?! It is not! Alaska is dark for 6 months...how can it be attached to Canada?...Canada isn't dark for 6 months.
hubs: ..................
me: Fine. If it is attached to Canada, why don't you pull up a map on your phone and show me.
And that's exactly what he did.
He pulled up a map and showed me.
My mind was blown.
How could I be 23 years old and not know that???
And to think,
I always wondered how cars with an Alaska license plate got here.
Well, I knew how they got here...
they came over on a ship...
duh.
But I wondered why they would spend so much money to do that.
Why not just save money and rent a car when they got here?
BECAUSE THEY DROVE, AUTUMN.
THEY DROVE HERE.
....
I've never seen my husband laugh as long as he did that night.
I laughed, too.
But come on, people.
HOW did I not know that Alaska was part of North America?
Well I'll tell you why.
After a solid 2 days of trying to solve the mystery,
it occurred to me...
in every US map I've ever labeled,
ALASKA WAS IN A BOX.
Go back up and look at that map.
See!?
Alaska and Hawaii are in boxes.
I'm surprised I didn't think Alaska was an island below Arizona and California.

I'm sure that sometime in my life I saw a map of North America that showed me where Alaska was...
but OBVIOUSLY I didn't make the connection.

It's a good thing I didn't want to be a pilot.

recap

HELLO!

My Thanksgiving festivities are officially over.

Here's a quick recap:

I made every bit of Thanksgiving dinner with my awesome grandma.

After 2 days of cooking and baking- this is what we had!

Pure deliciousness!

We ate left overs for 3 days.

None of my pants fit anymore.

Really.

and if I could go back....

I would stuff my face just as much!

I can buy new pants.

Of course the guys hunted until dinner.

Then the Saturday after Thanksgiving,

Tyler's parents came in (from Alabama) for a week long visit.

They went back home this past Saturday.

We had so much fun while they were here!

Be ready for a blog post every day this week.

Boy do I have some things to tell y'all!