12.04.2012

Alaska-in-the-box


I'm pretty sure I've already told y'all how bad I am at geography.

Before the hubs and I got married,
I didn't try to hide my geographic disability.
I told him.
"If someone held a gun to my head and said they would spare me,
 as long as I could label a map of the US correctly.....
I would die. Literally. They would end up shooting me. 
And if they asked me to label all of the continents and countries...
I would tell them to go ahead and kill me."
He thought I was being silly and laughed it off.
It's taken him almost 4 years....
but I think he finally realized that I wasn't being silly.

I almost talked myself out of telling you what I'm about to tell you.....
but this is me.
uncut and uncensored.
You're welcome.

Hubs and I were watching "Alaskan Troopers."
I think it's on the Discovery channel.
Obviously, it's about Alaskan Troopers.
As I watched it,
my brain was in overdrive.
Here is a small excerpt of what I was thinking:
Hmm...Alaska is dark for 6 months....that's insane....and it looks so cold there...the Troopers have to use snow mobiles.....and their lips are so chapped....wait...where exactly is Alaska? 
So I decided to ask my husband- 
me: Tyler. Where is Alaska?
hubs: Really?
me: well yeah. I mean...I know it's out in the ocean somewhere..I guess it's close to Antarctica.
hubs: Autumn. Are you serious?
me:Well where is it?
hubs: Stop it. You know it's attached to Canada.
me: What?! It is not! Alaska is dark for 6 months...how can it be attached to Canada?...Canada isn't dark for 6 months.
hubs: ..................
me: Fine. If it is attached to Canada, why don't you pull up a map on your phone and show me.
And that's exactly what he did.
He pulled up a map and showed me.
My mind was blown.
How could I be 23 years old and not know that???
And to think,
I always wondered how cars with an Alaska license plate got here.
Well, I knew how they got here...
they came over on a ship...
duh.
But I wondered why they would spend so much money to do that.
Why not just save money and rent a car when they got here?
BECAUSE THEY DROVE, AUTUMN.
THEY DROVE HERE.
....
I've never seen my husband laugh as long as he did that night.
I laughed, too.
But come on, people.
HOW did I not know that Alaska was part of North America?
Well I'll tell you why.
After a solid 2 days of trying to solve the mystery,
it occurred to me...
in every US map I've ever labeled,
ALASKA WAS IN A BOX.
Go back up and look at that map.
See!?
Alaska and Hawaii are in boxes.
I'm surprised I didn't think Alaska was an island below Arizona and California.

I'm sure that sometime in my life I saw a map of North America that showed me where Alaska was...
but OBVIOUSLY I didn't make the connection.

It's a good thing I didn't want to be a pilot.

6 comments:

SarahJane Miller said...

hahah this made me laugh! I am totally the same way when it comes to stuff like this! love it!

Lindsay said...

Oh Goodness... you are too funny. Thanks for sharing your story - totally made me laugh!!

:)
Lindsay

Esther Davison said...

I thought you might appreciate that I have lived in Alaska and I can tell you its not dark 6 months of the year unless you're in Fairbanks or Barrow. I lived in Anchorage. I'll never live there again (unless forced to) its not too bad (compared to Fairbanks or Barrow.) True fact, I've lived in Hawaii twice. I have made some interesting choices on where to move. Esther Norine Designs

Kaylyn said...

This makes me feel so much BETTER about my geography skills. Cause I thought Mexico was considered South America. And I thought Ohio was in the far west (like...by Wyoming). Shhh, don't tell! XOXO your newest follower

emi said...

hahah hilarious! your blog is darling and we are now following! xoxo ps come enter our giveaway here!

Anonymous said...

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