I'm pretty sure I've already told y'all how bad I am at geography.
Before the hubs and I got married,
I didn't try to hide my geographic disability.
I told him.
"If someone held a gun to my head and said they would spare me,
as long as I could label a map of the US correctly.....
I would die. Literally. They would end up shooting me.
And if they asked me to label all of the continents and countries...
I would tell them to go ahead and kill me."
He thought I was being silly and laughed it off.
It's taken him almost 4 years....
but I think he finally realized that I wasn't being silly.
I almost talked myself out of telling you what I'm about to tell you.....
but this is me.
uncut and uncensored.
Hubs and I were watching "Alaskan Troopers."
I think it's on the Discovery channel.
Obviously, it's about Alaskan Troopers.
As I watched it,
my brain was in overdrive.
Here is a small excerpt of what I was thinking:
Hmm...Alaska is dark for 6 months....that's insane....and it looks so cold there...the Troopers have to use snow mobiles.....and their lips are so chapped....wait...where exactly is Alaska?
So I decided to ask my husband-
me: Tyler. Where is Alaska?
me: well yeah. I mean...I know it's out in the ocean somewhere..I guess it's close to Antarctica.
hubs: Autumn. Are you serious?
me:Well where is it?
hubs: Stop it. You know it's attached to Canada.
me: What?! It is not! Alaska is dark for 6 months...how can it be attached to Canada?...Canada isn't dark for 6 months.
me: Fine. If it is attached to Canada, why don't you pull up a map on your phone and show me.
And that's exactly what he did.
He pulled up a map and showed me.
My mind was blown.
How could I be 23 years old and not know that???
And to think,
I always wondered how cars with an Alaska license plate got here.
Well, I knew how they got here...
they came over on a ship...
But I wondered why they would spend so much money to do that.
Why not just save money and rent a car when they got here?
BECAUSE THEY DROVE, AUTUMN.
THEY DROVE HERE.
I've never seen my husband laugh as long as he did that night.
I laughed, too.
But come on, people.
HOW did I not know that Alaska was part of North America?
Well I'll tell you why.
After a solid 2 days of trying to solve the mystery,
it occurred to me...
in every US map I've ever labeled,
ALASKA WAS IN A BOX.
Go back up and look at that map.
Alaska and Hawaii are in boxes.
I'm surprised I didn't think Alaska was an island below Arizona and California.
I'm sure that sometime in my life I saw a map of North America that showed me where Alaska was...
but OBVIOUSLY I didn't make the connection.
It's a good thing I didn't want to be a pilot.