thursday thoughts

Thursday Thoughts:

1. My internet has been mean to me.

2. I don't have class tomorrow so I have a FOUR day weekend. win.

3. I found 3 petrified dog turds IN MY HOUSE, today.  BayLee is pleading the fifth.

4. When I say the word acorn, I say ay-kern...and apparently that's weird.

5. I have been thinking about Pretty Little Liars non stop since the season finale ended.

6. I am convinced they are sneaking crack in Diet Coke and McDonald's chicken nuggets.

7. College football started at 7 tonight....and I haven't seen my hubs since.

8. There is a new movie out for toddlers....it's called Oogieloves....and it is the creepiest thing I have ever seen in my life. I'm pretty sure it is intended to give them nightmares.  I'm also pretty sure that one of those big-eyed things is under my bed right now.

 

Oh!  I told Ty about the whole "I want to have a prom in our living room."

He was actually excited about it...so I planned to do it one evening this weekend.

I asked him if there was a girl he wished he could have taken to prom....

obviously wanting him to say
 "DUH. I so wish I could have taken YOU! I LOVE YOU BABY POOKIE POO KISSY KISSY MUSHY MUSH!"

but I got this response instead:

I'm still having a prom this weekend....but I haven't decided who I'm taking yet.

prom do-over

Have you ever looked at your hubs/bf and thought

I sure wish you had been my prom date?

If you did go to prom with them,

I am super jealous!

I SO wish my hubs could have been my prom date!

I couldn't have been his, though.

When he went to his senior prom,

I would have been a whopping 14 years old.

But for my senior prom,

he would have been a hunky 22 year old;)
I've thought long and hard about this..
and I am 112% positive that this is what the event would have looked like:

Yes.
This is a scene from "High School Musical 3: Senior Year;"
...yes...
I went to watch the movie when it was out in theaters;
and yes...
I was a High School Musical fan.
 ANYWAY.
Going to prom with Tyler would have been epic.
I would have loved to have this picture in a wallet size.

I watched an episode of "Married to Jonas" on E! last night.
 Kevin's wife had a prom for him (and her) in their basement
 because he never got to go to his prom.
It made me want to have a prom in our living room.
If I can talk Tyler into it,
it just might happen.
Yes.
I was also a Jonas Brothers fan....
yes...
I will tune in to watch other "Married to Jonas" episodes;
and yes..
I openly admitted that I like liked High School Musical and the Jonas Brothers.

I hope your Tuesday was fabulous!

unpoppable

There are three things that make me cringe by just saying them.

paper cuts, under the skin zits and hot air balloons.

Today,

I'm going to talk about under the skin zits.

Because I currently have one.

And it makes me angry.

It is SO SORE.

Every time I have one,

I end up making a random fluke facial expression,

that pulls on the zit and makes it very, very angry.

It takes me by surprise,

and I grimace from the throbbing, stinging pain.

Instead of avoiding that facial expression,

I find it necessary (from that point, on) to make it (and grimace) every 5 seconds.

The expressions are extremely unnecessary, unnatural and unattractive.

Here are some examples:

please excuse my XXL nostrils

the hubs said he does it, too

Also,

those suckers are unpoppable.

You try to pop it,

and after the first squeeze,

it feels like you just stabbed yourself with a knife.

Even though I KNOW they can't be popped,

I still try.  Every time.

Why?

Why do I continue to squeeze them?

Why do I continue to make terrible facial expressions?

I have no clue.

Maybe I'm a weirdo..

or maybe I'm normal?

Either way,

this is what I look like right now

under the skin zits are the devil!

Bieber

 My hubs was followed.

He was followed in 2003.

As in stalker followed.

Tyler had something worth millions...
and the stalker wanted it.

They were in the process of making a male teenybopper pop singer...

and all they needed was a hairstyle.

A signature hairstyle, if you will.

The stalker followed Tyler in hopes of decoding the dimensions of his hair

so they could use it on their singer in 2010.

They followed Tyler because they didn't want him to know how badly they wanted his hair information.

They were afraid he would copyright his hairstyle before they could 

and if he had done that,

they would have had to pay him a ton of money to use it.

If Tyler had figured all this out in 2003,

we would be rich right now.

Ladies and gentlemen,

my hubs had the original "Bieber" haircut.

I should have been a detective.

yeller pants

Today was my second day of school.

I was a little over 10 minutes late.

Yes, I have a time/late problem.

Don't ask my hubs about it.

Anyway,

even though I am ALWAYS late,

I hate being late.
When I realized how late I was going to be,

I started bracing myself for walking into the classroom while the teacher was already talking,

and for the awkward stares I would receive from my new classmates.

Then I looked down.

I was wearing my mustard yellow pants,

which would be no big deal (on a normal day)..

but when you're going to be late for class,

and you want to sneak in unnoticed,

they're probably not the best choice.  

I walked into my classroom as quickly and as quietly as possible.

I didn't make eye contact with anyone,

so I didn't see any stares.

But as I sat down,

I heard someone say,

My lands, those are some YELLER pants.

Why thank you, kind classmate..

 for making sure the whole class knew I was late,

and that my pants were yeller.

In West Virginia, yellow is to yeller as tomato is to tomoto.
oh, and my lands is equivalent to OMG.

 

just checkin'

Pit checks.

The casual sniff.

The "hey I'm going to raise my arm to run my fingers through my hair and nonchalantly slide my nose by my pit."

The quick pit finger rub and sniff- SUPERSTAR!

The possibilities are endless.

Everyone has their own technique;

and if you say you don't,

you are totally lying.

We're honest around these parts.

So let your hair down,

and admit you sniff your pits- on occasion.

Yesterday,

instead of performing a self pit check,

I performed a spouse pit check.

We were at church.

The hubs sat down beside me and said

I feel like I stink, do I stink?

he had never said that before...

what did he want me to do?

I didn't smell anything,

but I wasn't really close enough to get a good sniff...

what was he wanting from me?

Here, hug me real quick.

Tyler, you want me to sniff YOUR pit?

Yeah, real quick, don't make it obvious. hug me.

so I did it.

I side hugged my husband so I could sniff his pit.

thankfully, all I smelled was his man deodorant.

In case you are ever in a similar situation,

here are instructions on how to do the side hug pit check.

the side hug pit check (while sitting)-

He puts his arm around you and you give him a hug.  

While hugging him you casually lay your head on his chest.

When you're finished with the hug, 

quickly slide your head past his pit and deeply inhale.

There ya go.

the spouse/partner pit check.

If done correctly,

everyone around you will just think you are being sweet.

perfection.

 

oh the things we, girls, do for our guys.

Don't be shy, share your techniques!

friday's letters

dear bay,

I'm sorry I let your hair get all Steven Tyler.

you were rockin' it, 

but you definitely needed that haircut.
I forgot you had eyeballs.

dear hubs,

you are so encouraging and supportive.

I am so blessed to be your wife.

oh, and thank you for my peach back pack

and school supplies!

I'm ready for Monday mornin'!

dear pork chops,

we were supposed to eat you last night for dinner..

but I forgot to turn the crock pot on
and I had to throw you away.
sorry about that.

dear banana popsicles,
where have you been all my life?
you are amazing.

laughs and giggles

I've been addicted to looking through someecards this evening.

Here are some of my favorites!

on hold

I found out today

that this coming Monday,

our life will be put on hold for 2 semesters.

Roughly 9 months.

The house hunting will be put on hold.

My shopping extravaganzas will be put on hold. 

Eating out every weekend will be put on hold.

Weekend trips will be put on hold.

I found out last Friday,

that I was accepted into an LPN to RN program.

I got my class schedule this past Tuesday.

Was told that it starts this coming Monday,

and realized that I would have to miss 16 hours of work per week.

 I explained the situation to my workplace.

And I found out today that they won't be able to work with that.

So.

On Monday we will have one income.

Which isn't horrible...

but of course,

two incomes are always better than one.

I just keep telling myself that in the long run,

it will pay off.

Because it will.

If all goes as planned,

when May 2013 rolls around,

I will be Autumn Ingram, RN.

I'm excited.

And nervous.

And anxious.

Bring on the all-nighters.

OH!

I made dinner again last night.

Actually, I put it in the crock pot yesterday morning.

I found a  pot roast recipe that took 2 ingredients.

It made it's own sauce.

I sauteed onions to put on top.

And paired it with corn on the cob and baked potatoes!

Ty has always lathered BBQ sauce on his pot roast...

but yesterday,

he didn't use any!

Dinner #2 = success.

It totally looks like he has a massive unibrow. I promise he doesn't. 

 

can I keep him, pleaseeeee

When I was little,

I was obsessed with baby animals.

puppies, kittens, chickens, bunnies, raccoons...

you name it,

I loved it.

And I wanted them.

All of them.

I was constantly asking my parents if I could keep animals.

Most of the time they said no,

(thank goodness, or who knows what kind of diseases I would have)

but when they said yes,

their first question was always

can you remember to feed it?

Obviously they wanted to make sure I could handle having a pet.

Yes! I promise!  Can I keep it, pleaseeeee?

For the first few weeks,

I kept their food and water bowl full.

But as the newness wore off,

I would forget.

I didn't really worry about it though,

because my parents were always there as back up.

They fed my animals when I forgot,

so they wouldn't die.

Perfect.

Let's relate this with my cooking.

For the first few weeks after we got married,

I cooked constantly.

But as the newness wore off,

I forgot.

I haven't really worried about it though,

because my grandma lives 100 feet away.

She has been feeding my hubs,

so he hasn't died. 

We get home from work,

she calls us and says

Hey supper's ready! Are you all coming over?

....

well duh.

Who could turn that offer down?

So that has been our routine.

However,

I started thinking about it...

and I started to worry.

I mean,

we're not always going to live right beside my grandma...

and what if...

what if I can't remember to feed him?

What if I can't keep him alive?

I decided that I needed to practice now.

You know,

while I still have my grandma for backup.

So yesterday,

I made a menu and went shoppin'.

mozzarella and pepperoni stuffed chicken was on the menu for tonight. 

I got the recipe off of pinterest.

It was DELICIOUS.

He's still alive.

His belly is full.

And he's happy as a lark.

So far so good.

the claw of satan

It's that time of year again!

The butt length mullets,

the massive boobage,

the booty shorts,,

the smell of BO, animal poop, and freshly made cinnamon rolls.

That's right y'all.

The good ole' State Fair of West Virginia is in town!

 Every year,

I go at least one time.

50% for the food

 47% to people watch

and 3% because I am a West Virginian...and I enjoy it.

The hubs and I went last night.

My friend Haylee and her fiance went with us.

Haylee and I decided we were going to ride the rides.

You know,

the ones that are assembled in 24 hours and go in constant circular motions?

I was 16 the last time I rode the fair rides,

so I was pretty excited.

Sadly,

the excitement was short-lived.

To my dismay,

something really BAD happened inside my body

during the last 6 years.

When I was 16,

I could ride the rides all day

and it was no big deal.
But. yesterday, as I was spinning at the very top of the "Freak Out"

I quickly realized that I wasn't 16 anymore...

and that I was, in fact, riding the claw of Satan.

I was regretting the 10 pounds of cheesy ribbon fries that I had eaten 10 minutes before.

I was pretty positive that they were about to go from my stomach to the face of the poor, unfortunate 10 year old child sitting beside me.

Luckily I was able to keep my ribbon fries down...

but it was pretty touch and go for awhile.

So let me get this straight.
I go to bed at 830 every night,
I watch antique shows with my hubs (and thoroughly enjoy them),
I have cellulite,
and now I get sick on fair rides.
According to that description
I am an old married granny.
And surprisingly,
I'm okay with that...
because Tyler is my old married grandpa.

Happy Monday!

Face Lift

I gave the ol' blog a face lift!

What do you think?

Guess what.
IT'S FRIDAY!
Have a fabulous weekend!

construction

Please excuse the mess on my blog.

I decided to revamp it.

Now I'm tired...

and it looks like poo.

I'm going to finish it this weekend.

:)

O-lympics!

I don't know about you,

but I L-O-V-E the Olympics!

Every single athlete amazes me.

It's probably the only time that I will willingly 

and enthusiastically watch water polo,

but still-

amazing.

Thus far,

here are my top two favorite Olympic moments:

1.

This actually happened during the preliminaries.

I just happened to be watching (live) when it took place...

I can't even begin to tell you how hard and how much I laughed

(after the initial shock)

when I saw this.

I'm pretty sure I have watched this a bazillion times.

and each time,

I laugh just as hard.

I am aware that there may be some individuals

who think I am horrible for thinking this is funny...

and I am also aware that I may have a semi-warped sense of humor..

but you know what?

I don't feel bad about it.

nope, not one bit.

not even close.

2.

We watched the men's diving competition for hours.

I couldn't make myself stop watching it.

It's insane.

While I was enamored with the television,

my husband got up,

went in the bedroom,

and put on a smedium men's brief

(definition of smedium: WAY too small.)

fully equipped with the superman logo right in the middle.

He then proceeded to proudly waltz into the living room,

with his hands on his hips,

and say

Look babe, I could be an Olympic diver.

I laughed so hard,

I almost peed my pants.

And just in case you're wondering,

I have no earthly idea where the smedium superman brief came from.

 Did I mention how much I love the Olympics?

tales from the weekend

Here is a summary of our anniversary weekend.

Remember when I told you we decided to celebrate close to home?

Well,

the hubs was feeling all romantic
and decided to plan a small surprise (close to home) trip.

He booked a "cottage" at a huge lake about 2 hours away.

He booked it for Friday night through Sunday morning.

We left for the lake around noon on Friday.

When we got there,

I could tell he wasn't happy.

The cottage was not was he was expecting.

It was falling down,

and the grass was 10 feet tall.

Really.

It was.

And right beside the cottage was an old, scary, abandoned camper.

When we walked inside the cottage,

we were greeted by our bed/couch in the form of an old crusty futon,

a plastic outdoor table that was bought from the dollar store 25 years ago,

AND

a 5 inch box TV

complete with a VCR.

Classy huh?

Poor hubs.

He was so upset; 

and I was using hand sanitizer like it was going out of style.

We had seen an awesome drive-in theater on our way to the cottage,

so we decided to hit that up.

 It was AWESOME.

 On Saturday morning,

Tyler wanted to leave.

He thought he had ruined our anniversary weekend.

I assured him that he didn't ruin it,

and that we could make the best of it.

He was feeling better,

until he looked out the window..

and saw 3 half naked men 

walk out of that old, scary, abandoned camper,

and sit on our porch.

Babe, get your shoes on.

So we got in the truck and headed home.

We stopped by Domino's Pizza for lunch

THEY HAVE GLUTEN-FREE PIZZA!

I ate it all.

I had one happy belly and two angry thighs.

On Sunday,

we went to a safari zoo with the family.

 We fed some buffalo and wildebeests,

watched kangaroos scratch inappropriate places,

and met this sexy camel.

I'm not sure if he was blowing me a kiss,

or getting ready to shoot a spit rocket at my face.

Either way,

they said he was quite the ladies man.

Monday was our actual anniversary,

so we went shopping and ate a late lunch at Olive Garden.

We've decided that the cottage will be a funny story to tell our kids about one day.

Oh memories.

Happy Tuesday!

Anniversary VLOG!

We've officially been married for one whole year!

In honor of this day,

we made a vlog.

assurance

I'm so glad my mom took this picture.

It really is worth a thousand words.

At 3 years old,

my mom put her veil on me

and told me I would be a bride one day.

I had no idea what a bride was,

but I did know that if my mommy was one,

I wanted to be one, too.

And that's where it started,

the dream of being a bride.

As I grew older,

I wondered what my dress would look like,

and who my groom would be

(I swore it was Aaron Carter for a solid 4 years).

The day always seemed so far off,

and even though it seemed magical,

I was always reassured in knowing that it was far off.

After all,

I didn't want to leave my mommy and daddy.

That was a scary thought.

But the years passed quickly

and before I knew it,

I was walking down the isle.

The day that I thought was so far away,

was happening.

As I held my daddy's hand,

my heart was filled with joy and sadness-

because I was still that little girl in my mama's veil.

But I had grown up;

and the reassurance of time was gone.

As my dad let go of my hand,

I looked up and saw my groom smiling,

with tears in his eyes..

and when my hand was placed in his,

 I was reminded that

 he was going to hold my hand forever..

and a new assurance filled my heart.

feels like a dream

The hubs and I will celebrate our first wedding anniversary in 5 days!
I CAN NOT believe it has been 1 year.
Crazy.

Warning:
My next few posts MIGHT be mushy.
They might.
My heart is extra mushy right now.
Like unicorns, rainbows and baby kitten mushy.

So here’s what has been on my heart today..
I had an extremely vivid dream 3 years ago,
(November 2008)
Which is super abnormal for me.
I hardly ever dream,
and when I do,
I don’t remember them.
There are 3 things about my life
during November 2008
that I think are significant.
One.  I was in an extremely controlling relationship.
Two.  I didn’t know my cancer was back.
Three.  I hadn’t met Tyler.
Okay.
Back to my dream.

I was standing in a random field,
with my (now ex) boyfriend
hallelujah.
and I was bawling my eyes out.
I didn’t know why I was crying,
but I knew whatever it was,
 had to be bad.
Then out of nowhere
A “knight in shining armor”
(really, it was a man in armor, riding a horse)
came riding by me,
and held his hand out.
I grabbed his hand,
he swooped me up on the horse with him,
and we rode off.
The end.

Pretty cheesy, huh?
That’s what I thought, anyway.
Just a “silly” dream.

One month later,
I found out that my cancer was back.
5 months later,
 my mom and I packed up to move to Florida for 6 weeks for my radiation treatments.
After 2 weeks of radiation treatments,
I was talking to the former boyfriend on the phone.
I told him that I wanted to find out what God's plan was for me.
He proceeded to cuss me out and tell me I was stupid
 and that for all I knew God might not even be real.
God gave me the courage and strength I needed to break up with him that night.
did I already say hallelujah?
one more time,
hallelujah.
And 1 week later,
Tyler Ingram/my knight in shining armor/hubs/BFFL
 asked me out to dinner.

That dream makes perfect sense, now.

I never imagined that little dream would have so much meaning.

One of the first pictures we took together- in Florida:)