5.14.2012

Crusty Rhino Butt

Soooo...
I told my husband that his breath smelled like crusty rhino butt, this morning.
Does that mean the honeymoon is over?
Or maybe, with time, comes 110% brutal honesty?
Let's get real.
Everyone has occasional rotten vomit breath...and rank morning breath.
You know, the "what the heck died in your mouth!?" kind.
Until this morning, I lovingly overlooked Tyler's occasional vomit breath...
I would offer a complimentary piece of gum or mint.
I also tried to avoid his mouth in the mornings.
(I brush my teeth as soon as I wake up, because I know mine doesn't smell fresh lilies, either.)
But this morning...
I rolled over in bed and was welcomed by a large waft of
...indescribable stench...
from his mouth.
The loving-ness was no where to be found.
And before I could stop myself, I said..
"OH MY GOSH....babe....your breath smells like....I don't even know..oh my gosh...it smells like crusty rhino butt.."
At least I said "babe"?
No, I've never sniffed a rhino's butt, nor have a sniffed a crusty rhino butt...
I assume it wouldn't be very pleasant.
Poor Tyler.

Hello 9 months and 1 week and 1 day of marriage.


14 comments:

Jes said...

rhino butt breath is THE worst.
chris is under some spell where he thinks his breath doesn't stink.
um, hello... it does.

Mrs. Robinson said...

Haha! That doesn't mean the honeymoon is over. It just means.. well..idk what it means. But the honeymoon is still going on as long as you act like it is. =) And the "babe" totally counts. Fa sho.

Tere Shake said...

ha! i am usually one with the crusty rhino butt breath. embarrassing yes. but its treatable :) i brush my teeth asap after i wake up. even if im not ready to get up, ill brush my teeth and go back to bed. haha.

Shaylynn... I blahwg n' stuff. said...

I can't wait to be married, gross.

Shaylynn... I blahwg n' stuff. said...

I am horrible, horrible, horrible about bad breath. I tend to gag with my patients whose breath smells of dust and stale life. Oh gross. Heaving.

Lauren said...

Bahaha! We didn't even wait til we were married to get that real with each other. Isn't marriage the greatest?! :-)

Mimi said...

the words we come up with to describe horrible smells like that are truly funny! ;)

<3, Mimi
http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/

Autumn Ingram said...

Agreed.

Autumn Ingram said...

You're right! I still believe it's going on! But now, I feel free to tell him when he has stinky breath:)

Autumn Ingram said...

I know mine probably smells like death, so I do the same thing! Just to make sure:)

Autumn Ingram said...

Oh yes, it's lovely :)
Definitely not a field of wild flowers, but fun...and very interesting.
At work yesterday, I was talking to a male patient...we were a good 7 feet apart......and I thought I was going to vomit right there. I know there are rumors about West Virginians eating road kill...and after smelling his breath, I believe it.

Autumn Ingram said...

Yes it is! So much fun:)

Autumn Ingram said...

It's one of my favorites:)

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