5.23.2012

Ol' Idol

American Idol.
It has been one of my guilty pleasures for 11 years now.
Yes, I have watched every season.
The season 11 finale was on tonight.
Of course I watched it.
And I would like to share some of my favorite highlights.
Some things that made me laugh.  
Because those are the things I remember.

First of all...
HOLY BODY SUITS.
I saw enough body suits to last the rest of my life.
The mental images have been burned in my mind and will be with me forever.
I don't want to see anyone in a body suit ever again.
Oh Fantasia and Chaka Khan...
I have one simple question for both of you.
Why?
Why did you do that?
You both can sing your guts out.
You have amazing voices.
And I thoroughly enjoyed your performances,
when I closed my eyes.
No, I'm not talking about their size.
No one should wear a body suit unless they are surfing or scuba diving.
Size doesn't matter.
Because the truth is this:
Even skinny girls have crevasses...
And those crevasses shouldn't be exposed unless they are necked.
Yes necked. Not naked. Necked.

Next,
At one point, there was a trombone player.
I felt sorry for her.
She had a little sexy black dress on,
 it had a skinny v-neck that went down to her belly button.
It was actually pretty and tasteful.
But the sexiness was overshadowed by the large metal horn.
Poor girl.
I guess sexy doesn't go along with the trombone.

 Then,
Ryan was introducing Jessica Sanchez.
I was excited because it sounded like she was going to be singing with Jennifer Hudson. 
Instead, 
she sang with Jennifer Holiday.
Of course, that Jennifer could sing, too.
But I was nervous during the entire performance...
because I was afraid she was going to eat Jessica's face.
It was scary.
 They zoomed in on J. Lo's face when they were singing, 
and even she looked concerned.
 Fortunately,
Jessica made it out alive.

I'm glad Philip won.
He was my favorite.

Season 11,
thanks for 39 episodes.
I willingly gave you about 78 hours of my life, total.
That's a little over 3 days.
Oh my.
Did you watch Idol tonight???

6 comments:

Stephanie said...

I totally noticed the trombone player. Hahah.
And Jennifer Holiday...whaaa?? She creeped me out!

Leslie said...

I said the same thing about body suits! What made these women (not to mention their stylists) think they were a good idea? Anyway, I'm glad that Phillip won as well!

JJ said...

OMG I couldn't get over Jennifer Holiday and her face. I'm pretty sure I will have nightmares for a while about that. I think I missed the memo on when screaming became signing, and its how you won a Grammy or preformed on AI. I totally thought it was going to be J-Hud. so disappointed.

Jenny said...

LOVE AI!!! ANd I am so happy Phillip won! He was my favorite even from the auditions! Ther is just something about him!

Jennifer Holiday is a great singer but the faces she was making was very scary! I wonder if I would look like that singing! Oh my!!!!

Lauren Cooper said...

This entire post made me seriously laugh! Mostly because you just wrote out ALL of my EXACT thoughts from last nights Idol Finale! ...Body suits really? I could not pay attention to anything else!! Had to close my eyes!! And that Jennifer Holiday was freaking me right out!! You are hilarious!!

Also I am SO glad Phillip won!! I picked him right from the beginning and possibly have a crush...no big deal!

xoxo

ps come check out my giveaway!!

Lauren said...

This post was hilarious. I love that the first two parts of it were about outfits, and not the singing! Ha! I watched when Carrie Underwood was on it but haven't since, although, I sometimes watch in the beginning, when everybody sings terribly! That's pretty entertaining.

I also just wanted to let you know about a great giveaway from Shabby Apple that I'm hosting right now! Hope you enter!

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http://laurensweetnothings.blogspot.com/2012/05/giveaway-shabby-apple.html